Wednesday 6 April 2022

Kojo Koram v Kemi Badenoch

Racial discrimination is a reality in this country. Just the other day my neighbor joked that I must get a big check from the Sewage Authority because 'you are so full of shit'. I said that as a graduate of the LSE with detailed knowledge of British Public Finance I was aware that people are not paid for the shit they deposit into the Sewage system. Rather, since shit is a 'nuisance' good, they are expected to pay for its disposal. The lady looked troubled. She finally confessed that she and all the other indigenous British people of her acquaintance received a check for their deposits of feces. She had assumed that Rishi Sunak would extend this benefit to his own people. Clearly that hadn't happened which was a pity coz 'you'se so full of shit' I thought you'd be getting loadsamoney from the Chancellor'. This revelation disturbed me greatly. 

I have contacted several M.Ps and lawyers to try to get justice for myself- if not other darkies- to little avail. However, even I would not be stupid enough to consult a Law Professor. To be clear, this is because they are all as stupid as shit. Not to beat about the bush, they've got a big pile of poo where their brains ought to be. What I'm trying to say is Law Professors are useless. Fuck. There must be a simpler way for me to get my point across. 

It is in that context that I will now quote Dr. Kojo Koram, a Law Professor, who writes in the Guardian that 

Teaching the ‘benefits’ of the British empire is just another attempt to stoke the culture war

There was no 'culture war' when that Empire existed and its history was taught in this country. There are 'culture wars' where there was no Empire and no Imperial history was taught. In any case, it is the woke who stoke that war but are now losing it, like Putin is losing Ukraine, because there has been a popular backlash. 

Dr. Koram writes- 


If the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

who are perceived as having been cold to Meghan and, perhaps, to have driven Harry out of the country 

need some comfort reading

fuck reading. They should watch Bridgerton 

after their awkward Caribbean tour, they could do worse than turn to Tony Blair’s autobiography.

 I'd like to read about what happened between Blair and Rupert Murdoch's hot Chinese wife. Sadly Blair doesn't tell interesting lies.

In 1997, Britain’s new prime minister travelled to Hong Kong to oversee its handover to China. Years later, Blair described how he had struggled through a conversation with the Chinese president, Jiang Zemin, on a subject of UK-China history, because, in his own words, Blair had “only a fairly dim and sketchy understanding of what that past was”.

Or what the present is. Or the difference between truth and shit he pulled out of his ass.  

The history being discussed was the opium wars, the very reason why Hong Kong had become British in the first place. Yet here was a boarding school and Oxbridge-educated prime minister who had next to no knowledge of the history that produced the very event he had travelled to oversee.

Hong Kong did very well under British rule. Its wealthy Chinese merchants helped finance the anti-Manchu Republicans. Britain was an ally of China against its biggest enemy- Japan. What Blair wrote in his book not evidence. The guy was probably trying to get his mitts on Chinese money- not to mention Murdoch's Chinese wife. Still, Blair did owe oral apology to wealthy Orientals who sat on his face. Bridgerton take note.  There was a Chinese dragon Empress back then. Clearly, Gladstone owed her cunnilingus big time. 

The impression many ministers give today is that students in British classrooms are being bludgeoned with never-ending tales of Britain’s imperial crimes.

In between being brainwashed into getting gender reassignment surgery- sure.  

This is why the government is now looking to rebalance the scales with a new curriculum that highlights the “benefits” of the British empire, as well as its negatives.

The Empire was a benefit for Britain- till it stopped paying for itself at which point the Brits were smart enough to get shot of it. If it hadn't existed, Britain would not have Cabinet Ministers with names like Patel and Sunak and Kwarteng.

Building on last year’s controversial Sewell report, the plans promoted by the equalities minister Kemi Badenoch

who is of Nigerian origin.  

are part of a wider campaign to move the teaching of empire away from what the government fears is a culture of victimisation and identity politics in schools, instead framing the legacy of empire as a debate of pros and cons. Was the empire wrong? Was it right? Which bits of the empire were naughty or nice?

Who gives a fuck? The Empire made us money and contributed to our victory in two World Wars. For us, it was nice. The problem with 'naughtiness' is that there was plenty of that to go round before the Brits took over any particular territory- unless, obviously, they natives were nice and thus got genocided to extinction thus creating the sort of countries people like me and the author queue up to emigrate to. 

But far from being inescapable, it is more common to find a well-policed omertà over the topic of empire within our curriculum.

Yes. The curriculum no longer dwells on how fucking horrible the Kings and Chieftains displaced by the Brits actually were. 

This amnesia about Britain’s imperial past

and the omerta about how fucking horrible the pre-British past of its Empire was 

produces a widespread ignorance about what is going on in the world,

though if you look at a country which is a horrible shithole, the reason is because its people were shit. Thus it would have bees an even worse shithole before the interlude of Empire.  

something that William and Kate recently discovered. Since the protests that greeted the couple during their trip to the Caribbean, Britain’s media has been confused about why Jamaica and other Commonwealth countries are looking to dispense with the Queen as their head of state.

Meghan Markle. What's to like about Charles & Camilla or William & Kate? They are deeply boring  people. Harry and Meghan have a bit of get up and go which is why they got up and went. 


Badenoch’s statement on the teaching of empire in schools was a response to the growing calls from students for greater engagement with Britain’s imperial legacy.

Students need to show greater engagement with getting me my fucking pizza within 30 minutes or less.  

But her approach only reinforces the culture war that she claims to be trying to overcome.

Her party is winning it. Rolling back transgender rights is gonna get them lots of votes.  

Learning about empire, according to her plan, becomes a game of discussing positives and negatives that are given equal weight. This interminable back-and-forth argument over the morality of a centuries-long process will circulate endlessly, ultimately making the topic feel like a pointless dispute over a long-distant past.

No. Sooner or later it will focus on why vast countries with enormous populations- I'm looking at you, India!- got conquered by a tiny number of Brits. Understanding why they were shite then helps us understand why they are shite now. This actually helps Nationalist leaders back in the old country and gets the fucking Human Rights brigade off their backs.  

Yet empire is anything but ancient history. The British empire only came to an end during the 1950s and 1960s.

That's fucking ancient dude!  

Prior to this, empire shaped the life of this island for some 400 years.

And prior to that this island was in greater danger of foreign invasion or a domestic despotism. The Navy procured us an Empire so as to pay for itself and thus permit our defense from those nasty Continental types whose oppressive yoke Nigel Farage helped us overthrow.  

England’s establishment of the Virginia slave colonies or its colonial rule over Barbados stretches back to before the Act of Union, the Glorious Revolution and even the English civil war.

Which is why England didn't get overrun by whichever Continental power had taken over Virginia and Barbados and so forth. Had the Irish been as successful in similar ventures, they would never have been conquered and subjected to man-made famine. 


It would be very strange if this entire period in history had left no lasting impact on today’s political, cultural, economic or legal systems. Yet for many people, it is still not unusual to complete school, college and even university in the UK without hearing the empire referred to even once.

On the other hand, it is also not unusual for school-kids to knife each other to death. Hearing about the Empire won't help them stay alive. That's the sort of thing Law Professors should be worrying about. But they aren't. They won't do the 'mechanism design' necessary to curb the problem.  

Recently, issues such as the royal tour of the Caribbean, the Windrush scandal

in which Law Professors showed themselves to be utterly shit. Local MPs and Caribbean leaders first raised the issue. All the fucking Human Rights lawyers and egghead Law Professors did absolutely nothing. That's why BAME people turned against those cretins. All they cared about was terrorists in Gitmo and rapists who wanted to do their time in Women's prisons. They didn't get a shit about the illegal deportation of working class people who had spent their entire life in this country.  

or the Russian oligarchs profiting from the secrecy protections of British overseas territories

i.e. stuff which the lawyers and their professors have enabled 

have pushed Britain’s imperial legacy on to the front pages.

No they haven't. Even the Guardian has relegated this shite to the op-ed section. 

Such events remind us that empire isn’t a question of moral judgment about a bygone era. Empire is still shaping our world.

No. The probability of getting knifed is what has shaped the world of the people this dude ought to be thinking off. Toppling statues aint gonna cut shit. On the other hand it does help the Tories who promise to 'level up' the parts of Britain where darkies like me are thin on the ground. 

How can we reflect this reality in the curriculum?

By knifing it. Seriously, the prospect of getting knifed really concentrates the mind.  

One answer would be moving the teaching of empire beyond the history class and into other subjects across the humanities and social sciences.

While black kids suffer, and inflict, knife crime in a disproportionate manner. Indeed, some rich kids from Manchester Grammar appear to be getting in on the action.  

Currently, students can study for their GCSE in citizenship without learning that all the people of the British empire, from Lagos to London, had the same citizenship status of “British subject” until 1948.

This was based on allegiance to the Crown evidence for the absence of which justified incarceration or even capital punishment. To be clear there was no 'citizenship status' (except in Canada) for anybody in the Empire prior to 1948. The French were citizens. The Americans were citizens. Subjects of the Crown were not citizens. They could be slaves while still being subjects. By contrast, slaves could not be full citizens of America.  

On an A-level law course,

which only very very fucking students will take 

students can be introduced to the British constitutional system with no mention that the Queen is still the head of state in places such as Jamaica, the Bahamas and Bermuda, or that her privy council serves as the highest court in these countries.

So what? Will knowing this make them better at knifing each other?  

English literature students can read canonical books such as Jane Eyre or Mansfield Park without considering the colonial settings that provide the background to these stories.

Worse, they can read these books without considering the English setting that provides the background to those stories.  That's why Eng Lit turned to shit. 

Economics students read entire textbooks about development without discussing how this topic emerged from the decolonisation of Africa, Asia and the Caribbean. Such imperial amnesia renders pertinent questions in a number of disciplines off limits.

True. You can't begin an essay explaining why shithole countries are shitholes by showing that the population is as dark as fuck. Moreover, there was a direct correlation between getting shittier and less dark people running the fuck away. 

The whole problem with teaching kids about the Empire is that sooner or later they are going to see a pattern to the thing. What was that pattern? Put simply it was that White Protestants kicked ass. Darkies were as stupid as shit. That's not a good message for kids of my complexion to imbibe. Bridgerton is the type of pap which builds our confidence.  


There is no reason why the Windrush scandal shouldn’t be a topic of study across the citizenship curriculum, or why offshore Britain and global tax avoidance shouldn’t be discussed in economics classes.

Yes there is. Grievance studies makes peeps stoooooopid. Kids need to learn stuff which raises their self-confidence and earning power without recourse to knives or machetes.  

Expanding the pathways through which students engage with the legacy of empire would

distract them from learning useful things and making something of themselves.  

do far more to move the topic away from divisive identity politics

towards open and outright hatred and revenge- which is where being good at stabbing people comes in handy 

than Badenoch’s plan of renewing the argument about who are the “goodies” or “baddies” of history.

Whitey is the baddie, the rest are stabby stabby.  

In fact, her commitment to highlighting the “benefits of empire” is paradigmatic identity politics.

The lady is asserting her identity as British. This cunt thinks that nobody should be proud to be British.  

It is designed to turn empire into a totem that people feel proud about, rather than as a lens to think critically about the world.

Feeling proud of being British is a good thing if you actually are British. Thinking critically about the world will make you stupid and ignorant unless the other kids stab you first.  


We should expect nothing less from a politician who last year told her colleagues she doesn’t “care about colonialism”.

Nobody gives a fuck about it. Well some do but then they either get stabbed or end up teaching shit for not very much money at all.  

Previously, Badenoch has described the growing calls for decolonisation of curriculums in schools, colleges and universities as a “recent fad” that is “not just misguided but actively opposed to the fundamental purpose of education”.

 Jeremy Corbyn offered the electorate the chance to go down the opposite road. They told him to go fuck himself. Then the Labor Party sacked him for Anti-Semitism. 

She has even threatened that those teaching race and empire in schools without “offering a balanced treatment of opposing views” are at risk of “breaking the law”.

Unless they get stabbed first. 

In a climate where legal threats from the government are supported by newspaper attacks on “woke schools” accused of teaching “critical race theory”, it would be understandable if teachers choose to avoid the subject of empire altogether.

Also they may want to invest in anti-stab vests. Actually just stay the fuck away from stabby stabby kids. Don't for fuck sake tell them about the Black Hole of Calcutta or give them any other ideas of that sort.  

The government’s recent guidance on political impartiality in teaching specifically highlighted “topics relating to empire” when reminding teachers that they “can also be subject to a prohibition order if their actions or behaviours undermine fundamental British values”.

Like not stabbing other people incessantly. 

Such a charged atmosphere doesn’t exactly encourage fearless and creative teaching of a complicated but important issue.

What fucking fearless and creative teaching can this cretin do? We are content that he is not stabbing people.  


This recent campaign seems primarily intended to renew silence on empire in British schools.

As opposed to getting one section of the pupils to stab the other. 

If it succeeds, students will be receiving an education that trains them to be ignorant of major issues that inform the world they will inhabit.

In the opinion of an ignorant cretin. The plain fact is that the one thing we learn from the history of Empire is that White Protestants are superior in every way to even very large populations of Colored people.  

And like Tony Blair or William and Kate, they will have to navigate global society with “only a dim and sketchy understanding” of Britain’s role in the making of it.

This cunt doesn't get that Blair is as rich as fuck. Will & Kate live in a big palace. Clearly ignorance of whatever shit this cunt is an expert on is a good thing.


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