Wednesday, 19 August 2026

Madhushree Mukherjee & Churchill's secret wank

Correlation is not causation. It is a fact that Indira Gandhi was Prime Minister of India at exactly the time when Margaret Thatcher jumped out of the TV screen and subjected me to aggravated acts of fellatio & tittywanking. This does not mean Indira Gandhi caused Mrs. Thatcher to behave in this reprehensible manner. Still, one mighs say that there is an element of Granger Causality in what may appear to be mere coincidence. My point is everything may be correlated in an opaque manner. 

Did you know, both Thatcher & Gandhi attended Somerville College, Oxford? What's the opposite of Oxford? Cambridge. Guess who was the youngest black Professor there? Jason Arday. Connect the fucking dots, sheeple!

It in the spirit of Ardayan epistemology that I turn back to Madhushree Mukherjee's 'Churchill's secret wank' which proves that the Bengal famine was caused by Winston having a crafty wank and jizzing over 3.2 million tons of wheat which should have gone to Calcutta. Needless to say, the ships were diverted so as to conceal the British Prime Minister's dirty little secret. 

Scott Horton, of Harper's magazine, put the following 6 questions to Madhushree Mukherjee 

1. You write that Hitler never fully embraced the Indian nationalist cause

 

This is Hitler shaking the hand of Subhas Chandra Bose, a former President of the Indian National Congress. He recruited Indians for the Waffen SS before joining hands with the Japanese in Singapore.

because he expected Britain to reach some accommodation with Germany that allowed it to retain most of its empire, and specifically India.

But, once it became clear that Britain would fight, Hitler's focus changed to some sort of partition of India with the Japanese. He expected to keep the MENA & both Iraq & Iran had leaders who were pro-Axis. It was in this context that the Indian revolutionaries in Germany were expected to earn their keep. Unfortunately, the man who helped Bose to escape was a Communist and thus became a British double agent after Hitler invaded the Soviet Union. 

What is it about Churchill and Britain that Hitler misunderstood in this regard?

Hitler lived in a fantasy world. He may have thought that Oswald Moseley could take power in the UK. When Hess flew to England, he may have hoped to do some sort of deal with people whom Berlin considered pro-German.  

Hitler believed that the so-called Nordic race, which in his view included Germans and Britons, was destined to rule the world.

He thought Germany would be top dog.  

He sought to emulate, not supplant, the British Empire: the German empire would comprise the Slavic countries to the east. As he saw it, the United Kingdom would retain its colonies but assume the role of Germany’s junior partner in world domination.

In other words, the Brits would be turnkeys in a world which is just a large, open air, Nazi prison.  

Hitler underestimated the depth of Churchill’s reverence for England’s imperial traditions.

That was irrelevant. Britian was determined to fight & Churchill was appropriately bellicose. Maybe Lloyd George would have been offered the job had he been in better health. 

To Churchill, the British would be second to none.

No. Churchill's mother was American. He understood that Britain would play second fiddle in a 'Union of the English speaking people.'  

Moreover, Churchill’s reading of history told him that Britain had always maintained the balance of power in Europe:

Nonsense! Churchill knew that his father's generation favoured 'splendid isolation'. The first alliance the Brits made after they came to realize that the Royal Navy could not 'go it alone' was with the Japanese. 

Britian's policy has always had to do with invasion threats from a foreign Armada. It went to war in 1914 for Belgium. Why? Keeping a great-power out of the Low Countries has always been its strategic objective.  

whenever France or Germany had marched, England had marched—against.

The UK stayed out of the wars of German or Italian reunification. Randholph Churchill's pal- Joe Chamberlain- had put out feelers for a pact with Germany a little before the treaty with the Japanese. The problem was the Kaiser's obsession with turning Germany into a naval power.  

This time would be no different. Churchill also believed that it was his destiny to lead his country in war against a vile enemy.

Sadly, Britain wasn't strong enough to win any such war. At best, it could keep its independence & hope for a 'Russian steamroller' or American intervention.  

Hitler may have evoked particular repugnance because,

he was a fucking gangster as was proved by the night of the long knives. Mussolini was a refined gentleman by comparison. 

in addition to persecuting Jews, he was seeking to enslave Europeans.

Whereas the Kaiser had been trying to give them kisses and cuddles.  

Churchill had condoned the Japanese invasion of Manchuria,

because the old fool saw Japan as an ally.  

explaining that the aggressor was “an ancient State, with the highest sense of national honour and patriotism and with a teeming population and a remarkable energy.” And he had advised against intervention when Italy attacked Abyssinia, on the grounds that

Mussolini was seen as a potential ally against Hilter- particularly in terms of opposing Anshluss in 1934. Let him help himself to Ethiopia. I suppose, at the time, the Brits thought they would hang on to the 'White Highlands' in Kenya- if only so as to have a place where they could send the more degenerate specimens of the Aristocracy.  

the victim was not “a fit, worthy, and equal member” of the League of Nations. Hitler trusted that British leaders would likewise comprehend his desire to induct Slavs, whom he saw simply as slaves, into the Third Reich.

The Sudetens had a genuine grievance. Moreover, Poland and Hungary were happy to take a bite out of Czechoslovakia. If the Poles had agreed to let Soviet troops through, then Stalin would have stuck with a 'United Front' policy and allied with France (and Britain).  


2. Yet you do write that Churchill harbored a deep racism or at least ethnocentrism when it came to the Indians and that he toyed with the idea of building a British alliance with Untouchables, Sikhs, and Muslims to hold India and keep Hindu nationalists at bay.

He said, in 1931, that Nehru, a Brahmin, was plotting to take over India and suppress the Muslims and Dalits etc. Oddly, this view has been adopted by many on the Left in India. Strangely, they have no problem with Nehru's Brahmin dynasty- probably because it is now half Italian.  

Did this reflect a reasonable appreciation of the forces then at work in India?

No. The old boy was off his head on brandy.  The fact is Churchill, in his wilderness years, had to take his friends where he found them. He was also a supporter of King Edward & his American, ex-prostitute of a wife. 

Churchill’s divide-and-rule policies found fertile ground among India’s Muslims.

He took those policies from Muslim intellectuals like Waris Ameer Ali. The question then was how to prevent the Hindu majority gaining power in India just as the question now is how to keep the BJP, which is Hindu Nationalist, from coming to power in more State and ruling India for another fifteen years. 

For decades, British conservatives had sought to deepen India’s inherent fissures in order to weaken the nascent independence movement.

Just as, after Independence, the Indian Left has sought to deepen caste divisions to prevent Hindu consolidation 

For instance, in 1905 Viceroy Curzon planned to partition Bengal province along religious lines, so as to enhance rivalries between Muslim landowners in its east and Hindu nationalists in its west.

It would reduce them because they would be in separate states. The Hindus thought they could dominate the whole Province and thus insisted on cancelling the partition. They changed their minds in 1946 after having experienced Muslim rule.  

He also encouraged the formation of the Muslim League as a counterweight to the dominant nationalist party, the Indian National Congress.

The INC was split between the moderates and extremists.  

A prolonged agitation led to Bengal being partitioned instead along linguistic lines.

i.e. creation of Bihar, Odisha & Assam.  

But then the colonial government introduced separate electorates for Muslims—that is, every Muslim in British India was required to vote for a Muslim.

This was the Morley-Minto reform of 1909. Montague-Chelmsford, in 1919, created separate electorates for Sikhs, Europeans, Indian Christians, & Anglo-Indians.  

The measure favored separatists,

because Muslims don't like kaffirs 

who could get elected by appealing to narrow sectarian sentiments. The British subsequently introduced separate electorates for other groups as well, but the effort was partially repulsed.

India has reserved seats for Scheduled Tribes & Castes.  

So although Churchill was interested in exploiting diverse social fault lines,

he was against the Round Table Conferences and the Tory 1935 GoI act. But he was ignored. People thought he wasn't quite sane on the topic of India.  

he concentrated on widening the Hindu-Muslim rift—which he regarded as “the bulwark of British rule in India.”

Where there are any sizable number of Muslims, there is a rift. God alone knows what the bulwark of British rule in Britain is. My guess is Sharia Law.  

When Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the leader of the Muslim League, called for a separate nation of Pakistan, Churchill hailed “the awakening of a new spirit of self-reliance and self-assertiveness” among India’s minorities.

Jinnah supported the war effort. Gandhi & Co did not.  

During the war, the British government encouraged the demand for Pakistan and propagandized along Islamist lines against Hindus.

Niradh Chaudhuri says most Hindus were for Hitler. The Japanese, however, committed atrocities against Muslims and thus there was some possibility that Islamic sentiment could be stirred up against them.  


3. At several points you suggest that Churchill was inspired by the remembrance of the 1857 uprising to take steps that disregarded the value of civilian lives in India.

Churchill was constrained by the GoI act. There was a chain of command and a doctrine of collective responsibility. If Churchill did evil shit, Atlee too was complicit. 

But, as you note, in 1920, following the Amritsar massacre, Churchill denounced precisely that logic when it was used by Brigadier Reginald Dyer and his supporters to justify the tragedy that had occurred. Churchill decried what happened as “frightfulness” and called for accountability for Dyer. Doesn’t this suggest a different attitude towards the Indians?

Churchill mollified the crazy Ulstermen in Parliament before making a very simple point- was any General anywhere in the Empire willing to give Dyer a command? No. The guy was a nutter. Suppose he is made the Colonel of a Territorial Regiment. He might order the shooting of strikers. What would follow would be a Revolution. If even the Black & Tans didn't want Dyer, what was the point of sticking up for him? 

Incidentally, the Mutiny was very costly. Britain was broke. Geddes axe meant big cuts for the Army and Navy. Military commanders needed to be diplomatic. There was no money for an expensive campaign. As things were Churchill was being blamed for the vast expense of the Mesopotamian campaign.  


In 1920 Churchill was not hostile to Indians. The independence movement had yet to develop to its full strength; and the Indian Army, which was largely loyal to the British, had just sacrificed 60,000 lives in World War I.

Brits had sacrificed more than ten times that figure 

The British Empire was threatened mainly by actions such as Dyer’s. By killing more than a thousand Sikh civilians—at least by the Indian account—Dyer had undermined the loyalty of Sikh soldiers in the Indian Army.

No. Dyer went on to lead Indian soldiers in the third Afghan war. 

The army had accordingly dismissed Dyer;

He was put on the retired list. But so were thousands of others. 

and, as secretary of state for war, Churchill was called upon to defend the army’s action. Hence his speech denouncing “frightfulness,” or terror tactics.

Make a hero of Dyer and some young Captain in the Territorial might open fire on a bunch of picketers outside his Daddy's factory. That's how Revolutions happen.  

Incidentally, in these years Churchill was calling for gas attacks on rebellious Iraqis, in order to “spread a lively terror.”

In order to save money. Under the new arrangement, the British government had to pay for Indian troops used outside India. 

By the 1940s, the Indian situation had changed dramatically. The freedom movement, led by Gandhi, posed a potent challenge to the Empire and caused Churchill’s animosity toward Indians to escalate.

It had peaked at the time of the Round Table Conference & never really subsided (though Churchill got on well enough with Birla). 

And the Indian Army had acquired many native officers,

about 400, all told, in 1939- i.e. about ten percent 

whose loyalty could not be taken for granted. So Churchill ensured that if rebellion broke out in India, the colony’s best-equipped and -trained battalions would be fighting the Axis—on another continent.

That decision was made before he became PM. Though Congress resigned Ministries at the outbreak of war, no rebellion was apprehened till Feb 1942 & the fall of Singapore. Even then, it looked as though a deal would be done with Congress. Sadly, Gandhi overplayed his hand.  

India was bereft of defenses, so that when Japanese forces reached the colony’s borders, the War Cabinet ordered scorched-earth measures to deter their advance.

Burma had been separated out in 1937. A lot of materiel in South East had been abandoned during the British reteaat and thus fell into Japanese hands.  

The resulting destruction of rice and boats contributed to famine.

Whereas, if the Japs had gotten their hands on that rice and those boats, Bengalis could have enjoyed being raped and enslaved by their new conquerors.  


4. The central thesis in your book is that Churchill and the War Cabinet took a series of decisions which led inexorably to the starvation of between 1.5 and 3 million persons in 1943.

Lose Burma & food deficit states in India are going to take a hit. However, what sealed Bengal's fate was the 1937 election. Once Bengalis were running things, famine & ethnic cleansing became inevitable.  

You do not, however, charge that it was their conscious intention to starve these people to death—unlike what the Nazis did in 

Holland? 

east central Europe about this same time, when starvation was a conscious policy objective.

Slaves have to be fed. Nazis relied on slave labour. Still, I suppose, food requistioning is bound to impact food availability.  

But do you believe that they knew or should have known that this catastrophe would follow from their decisions?

If the Bengalis didn't want to impose rationing on themselves so as to feed the hungry, what could Churchill do about it? Tear up the GoI Act of 1935? But that would require a Parliamentary vote. The problem is that everybody thought Churchill's ideas about India were crazy. Nobody could put back the clock.  

The War Cabinet received repeated warnings that famine could result from its exhaustive use of Indian resources for the war effort—and ignored them.

They also received repeated warnings, from Hitler, that they should surrender before some really evil shit came down upon their heads. Sadly, they ignored these warnings.  

The Japanese occupation of Burma in March 1942 cut off rice imports, of between one and two million tons per year, to India. Instead of protecting the Indian public from the resultant food shortage,

as opposed to Japanese invaders 

the War Cabinet insisted that India absorb this loss

i.e. grow more food. Tell you what- why don't eat some of your sacred cows? Incidentally, even American people were having to 'absorb losses' by tightening their belt.  Thus, an American family in 1942 had a ration book with coupons for Sugar, coffee, meat, butter, cheese, and processed canned foods. In Bengal, if you had the money, you could eat as much as you liked. 

and, further, export rice to countries that could no longer get it from South East Asia. As a result, after war arrived at India’s borders, the colony exported 260,000 tons of rice in the fiscal year 1942-43.

The strange thing was that Indians preferred to get paid for the rice they produced rather than give it away to starving people.  


Meanwhile India’s war expenditures increased ten fold, and the government printed paper money to pay for them. In August 1942 a representative of India’s viceroy told the War Cabinet that runaway inflation could lead to “famines and riots.”

And a Japanese invasion could lead to a thousand years of slavery. The plain fact is, Indians didn't greatly care about the famine. Nobody is writing books about the corrupt politicians and businessmen who minted money during the famine.  


In December 1942, Viceroy Linlithgow warned that India’s grain supply was seriously short and he urgently needed 600,000 tons of wheat to feed soldiers and the most essential industrial workers.

Everybody was demanding more. Failure to do so meant more would be demanded of you.

The War Cabinet stated that ships were not available. In January 1943, Churchill moved most of the merchant ships operating in the Indian Ocean over to the Atlantic, in order to build up the United Kingdom’s stockpile of food and raw materials.

After all, Gandhi was telling him to 'Quit India'. It wasn't till March 1944 that that Brits stopped retreating from the Japanese. 

The Ministry of War Transport cautioned him that the shift would result in “violent changes and perhaps cataclysms” in trade around the Indian Ocean. (In addition to India, the colonies of Kenya, Tanganyika, and British Somaliland all suffered famine in 1943.) Although refusing to meet India’s need for wheat, Churchill insisted that India continue to export rice.

He also insisted Singapore not surrender. Much good it did him. 

With famine raging, in July 1943 Viceroy Linlithgow halted rice exports and again asked the War Cabinet for wheat imports, this time of 500,000 tons. That was the minimum required to feed the army and otherwise maintain the war effort. The news of impending shipments would indirectly ease the famine, he noted: any hoarders would anticipate a fall in prices and release grain, causing prices to fall in reality. But at a meeting on August 4, the War Cabinet failed to schedule even a single shipment of wheat for India. Instead, it ordered the buildup of a stockpile of wheat for feeding European civilians after they had been liberated. So 170,000 tons of Australian wheat bypassed starving India—destined not for consumption but for storage.

This made Bengali politicians & their business partners very rich.  

Meanwhile, the United Kingdom’s stockpile of food and raw materials, intended for shoring up the postwar British economy, reached 18.5 million tons, the highest ever.

Britain's contribution to the war effort was ten times that of India despite its much smaller population. Why? It was much richer and its people were far more productive. But Britain could not prevail on its own. Russian manpower & American airpower did the heavy lifting. Over the course of 1943, the Brits learned to accept their second class military status. The last Nazi victory of the war was against Churchill's campaing in the Dodecanese (which the Germans took over from the Italians).  

Sugar and oilseeds overflowed warehouses and had to be stored outdoors, under tarpaulins.

Churchill thought a second front in Greece & the Balkans could be opened up. Feed the Greeks and they will be better able to fight for you. But without American airpower, the UK could do nothing in that theater.  

Of course Churchill knew that his priorities would result in mass death.

Nobody knew this for a fact save those who were familiar with the corruption and callousness of the Bengali people. Why didn't their Premier impose the same draconian type of rationing that Churchill had implemented in England?  

In one of his tirades against Indians, he said they were “breeding like rabbits” anyway.

An argument frequently made by Indians who opposed higher taxes to pay for the public food distribution system.  

On behalf of Indians, the War Cabinet ignored an offer of 100,000 tons of Burmese rice from freedom fighter Subhas Chandra Bose

who couldn't deliver shit to anybody 

(who was allied with the Japanese), discouraged a gift of wheat from Canada, and turned down rice and wheat volunteered by the United States.

But it wasn't Churchill & his chums who benefitted by high black market food prices in Bengal. It was the Muslim League & their crony capitalists. 

The War Cabinet eventually ordered for India 80,000 tons of wheat and 130,000 tons of barley. (Barley was useless for famine relief because it had no impact on prices.) The first of these meager shipments reached India in November. All the while, the Indian Army consumed local rice and wheat that might otherwise have fed the starving.

No. The starving wouldn't have got anything. The food would be diverted to tbe black market by elected Bengali politicians.  

The famine came to an end in December 1943, when Bengal harvested its own rice crop—at which point Churchill and his friend Cherwell renewed their demand for rice exports.

Churchill could demand things just as Hitler and Stalin could demand things. The difference was that Churchill could be safely ignored. Defying Hitler or Stalin was fatal.  


5. Another figure who comes in for a shellacking in your book is Frederick Alexander Lindemann, later Lord Cherwell, an Anglo-German known as “the Prof,” who exercised a powerful influence over Churchill. You describe Cherwell as an impressive scientist but also someone who harbored some rather sinister Malthusian ideas with a latent racist component. What were these ideas and how did they contribute to the famine?

Sadly, Cherwell was right. The Viceroy was wrong. Famine didn't matter to Indians. Suhrawardy became Premier in 1946. Similarly, Mujib would have been re-elected despite the 1974 famine if he hadn't been assassinated (and had bothered to hold elections).  


All the evidence points to the prime minister and his closest adviser having believed that Indians were ordained to reside at the bottom of the social pyramid, such that their financial ascendancy as creditors during the war became a source of frustration and fury.

Churchill didn't get that if you owe the bank a billion, then you own the bank. Sterling balances meant that India & Pakistan had to play nice with the UK when he returned to power.  

Long after India had obtained independence, the Prof would describe the “abdication of the white man” as the worst calamity of the twentieth century—more deplorable than two world wars and the Holocaust.

Five years after he died (in 1957) so many dark skinned people had signalled their agreement with him by emigratint to the UK, that the country was forced to introduce curbs on immigration from the Commonwealth. 

Niradh Chaudhuri's first book- demanding the return of White colonizers to Bengal- had been met with fury in India. By the mid-Sixties he was considered a prophet. His articles found a ready market within India. Then he settled in the UK where his health improved. It wasn't just Indians who were shitty. The country itself was hostile to human life. 


Judging by a lecture that Cherwell gave in the 1930s, he regarded colonial subjects as “helots,” or slaves,

Gandhi & Nehru & Bose kept saying Indians were slaves.  

whose only reason for existence was the service of racial superiors. In drafts of this talk, he outlined how science could help entrench the hegemony of the higher races. By means of hormones, drugs, mind control, and surgery, one could remove from slaves the ability to suffer or to feel ambition—yielding humans with “the mental make-up of the worker bee.” Such a lobotomized race would have no thought of rebellion or votes, so that one would end up with a perfectly peaceable and permanent society, “led by supermen and served by helots.”

These were drafts, not the published article. The truth is, Cherwell was a pal of Churchill. He stuck by him in his wilderness years and was rewarded for it. Don't forget, most Tories didn't like Churchill.  

In November 1943, Cherwell urged Churchill to hold firm against demands for famine relief.

 Churchill's job was to win the war. If the autonomous government of Bengal didn't want to introduce British style rationing, Churchill had no locus standi to force them to do so. After all, they knew their own country best. 

Some did warn that famine would help the Communists which in turn would threaten the 'Permanent Settlement'. But, Fazl had become Premier in 1937 promising to get rid of the thing. In other words, Britian had no business meddling in the fiscal arrangements of a distant, autonomous, Province of an Indian Empire which might, at any moment, gain a Federal Government of its own. 

Else, he warned, “so long as the war lasts [India’s] high birthrate may impose a heavy strain on this country which does not view with Asiatic detachment the pressure of a growing population on limited supplies of food.” That is, he blamed the famine on the irresponsible fecundity of natives—and ignored the devastation of the Indian economy by the war effort. He also elided the fact that the War Cabinet was preventing India from using its ample sterling balance or even its own ships to import sufficient wheat.

Very true. Premier Nazimuddin would say 'lets ration food'. Cherwell would fly down to Calcutta and brutally sodomize him till he agreed to let the poor starve.  

By Cherwell’s Malthusian argument, England should have been the first to starve.

No. Britain's birthrate was 15 per 1000. India's was 48. Moreover, the Brits were welcome to emigrate (indeed, were subsidised to do so) to the vast, empty, settler colonies. Nobody wanted Indians save for coolie work. 

It was being kept alive by massive imports.

Which it paid for.  

In 1943 the United Kingdom imported 4 million tons of wheat, 1.6 million tons of meat, 1.4 million tons of sugar, 409,000 heads of live cattle, 325,000 tons of fish, 131,000 tons of rice, 206,000 tons of tea, 172,000 tons of cocoa, and 1.1 million gallons of wine for its 47.7 million people—a population an eighth that of India.

Because the Brits were highly productive and hence could afford lots of food. True, wealthy Indians had better rations during the War than wealthy Britishers but that was because they didn't give a fuck about those of their own people who were starving.  

To Cherwell and also to Churchill, colonial subjects were worth saving only if they made a direct contribution to the war effort

Churchill couldn't save British subjects (and over 50,000 British soldiers) in Malaya and Burma from the Japanese. 

I suppose what Madhushree means is that, during a war, Governments preferentially feed their soldiers and those involved in defence related industries.

It must be said Bengali officials, on orders from elected Bengali politicians, did requisition food at below free-market prices. This why they were able to make so much money. 

According to Field Marshal Wavell, Churchill wanted to feed only those Indians who were “actually fighting or making munitions or working some particular railways.” The rest were dispensable.

Wavell had to use great brutality to put down the Quit India revolt. True, British casualties were minimal but the thing was bad for morale more particularly because the Japs continued to press forward till July 1944. Like Allenby in Egypt, 22 years previously, Wavell became defeatist. He wanted to evacuate the White population before utter chaos consumed the country.  


6. Arthur Herman argues that you rely too heavily on Leo Amery’s diaries, recording Churchill’s intemperate outbursts, and pass by the fact that Churchill took decisive steps to ameliorate the famine. “Without Churchill,” he says, “the famine would have been worse.” How do you respond to this?

Churchill was irrelevant. He gambled on a 'soft underbelly' strategy in 1943 but it quickly came unstuck. Britain was now revealed to be a second rate power. Australia and Canada would deal directly with the US. What about India? Mountbatten (and Blackett, a little later) befriended Nehru who was suspicious of Yankee domination. But Pakistan gladly allied with Eisenhower's America. 



My indictment is based on what Churchill did, not on what he said. The Ministry of War Transport papers, the Cherwell Papers, and the official histories of British wartime food supply, shipping, and economy are my key sources.

They are irrelevant. Why? Bengal was ruled by elected Bengali politicians. Churchill never visited India after his stint there as a soldier ended in 1899. Amery, the Secretary of State, was born in India but only visited in 1948 after he left office. My point is, India was a side show.  

They show, for instance, that the War Cabinet scheduled eighteen ships to load with Australian wheat in September and October, 1943. Not one of these ships was destined for famine-stricken India.

The Mayor of Calcutta did appeal to the Americans for food. Interestingly, he chose to remain in Hindu India after Partition. This suggests that he wasn't one of the guys who got rich at that time.  

Had anyone else been prime minister,

Lord Halifax? Lloyd George? Clement Atlee?  

he would have striven to relieve India’s plight instead of consigning wheat to stockpiles.

No. Churchill was mulish on the Indian question. Others would have contrived some cosmetic sort of self-government. The problem was that India was very poor. It could supply mercenaries but its own force projection capacity was limited by its very low per capita GDP. Thus, though Japan had about 80 per cent of India's GDP, it could have three times as many active combatants. 

Churchill’s diatribes, as recorded in Amery’s and others’ diaries, are, however, useful in understanding why he acted as he did.

No. They are useless. To understand his actions during the War, you have to understand his military delusions.  

Famine had failed to temper his hostility toward Indians. Churchill would tell his secretary that Hindus were a foul race protected by their rapid breeding from “the doom that is their due.” He wished Arthur Harris, the head of British bomber command, could “send some of his surplus bombers to destroy them.”

He also got drunk and said that the Labour Party might establish a Gestapo. Sadly, he said this on the BBC radio. This cost him a lot of votes. People thought the old boy was off his rocker. Oddly, after a stroke or two, he became a decent enough Prime Minister in his second spell in office. 

Madhushree Mukherjee vs Amartya Sen

Madhushree drew Sen's ire by the following passage from a letter she sent the NYT 


In his review of my book, Churchill’s Secret War [NYR, December 23, 2010], Joseph Lelyveld notes that I do not discuss Amartya Sen’s assertion that Bengal contained enough grain to ward off famine.

If this were the case, Churchill could not have secretly starved the Bengalis.  

I avoided this aspect of Sen’s work because his conclusion of sufficiency in Bengal has been seriously challenged.

They were nonsense. If Bengal had a bumper crop in 1943, food prices would have fallen because the demand for food is inelastic. The Government, or charities, could have easily procured food and opened 'langars' (soup kitchens).  

Historian Mark Tauger has shown that Sen based his crop estimates on projections,

made up figures. Ian Stephenson, in his book Monsoon Mornings, explains why everybody in Bengal knew the official figures were made up.  

and that crop diseases spread by wet weather appear to have drastically reduced the actual harvest. The notes in my book contain a number of different estimates of the crop shortage, all of which are substantial. Furthermore, in his paper Sen misquoted the government’s estimate of the rice shortfall as a mere 140,000 tons (instead of the 1.4 million tons stated in the document he cites)—which led him to mistakenly claim that the authorities could not have predicted famine.

Sen’s insight that loss of entitlement provides a deeper explanation for famine remains true and profound,

It was nonsense. People had an entitlement to food. The Government was corrupt and incompetent and thus there was entitlement failure. Otherwise, just by getting arrested, everybody would have been getting three square meals a day. Sadly, there wasn't enough food.  

however. My work shows that the concept can be extended to include the far larger entitlement of British citizens than of colonial subjects to food—as illustrated by several of Churchill’s decisions. 

Gandhi was just as much a British subject as Churchill. The word 'citizen' was only used after Labour came to power. 

British people in the UK had good leaders who ensured they got enough food to eat. Some poor Bengali people in Bengal did not get enough food because they had shitty leaders.  

Amartya Sen replied thus- 

Madhusree Mukerjee seems satisfied with little information.

She has more than Sen did.  

Mark Tauger’s data come from exactly two “rice research stations” from two districts in undivided Bengal,

Whereas Sen comes from zero stations (though he tries to make out Sriniketan was some such thing) 

which had twenty-seven districts.

If rice output really had gone up, as Sen claims, the price would have fallen. But it fell. Thus Sen is wrong.  

Since weather variations have regionally diverse effects, it would require more than this to “seriously challenge” the analysis I made, using data from all districts,

all of that data was made up as Ian Stephens had remarked. This was known to everybody- including Sen's daddy and uncle and B.R Sen and Mahalanobis etc. Suppose Sen is right and there was more food in 1943 than in 1941, why did the price rise rather than fall? Economists all around the world would have been studying this question.  

which indicated that food availability in 1943 (the famine year) was significantly higher than in 1941 (when there was no famine).

Sen had met Ian Stephens. Did he not read his book? How could a Bengali who did his first degree in Bengal not know that Bengali food statistics were made up?  

Ignoring the range of data I used in my study,

Sen claimed that some notebooks kept at Sriniketan showed there was plenty of food. But Sriniketan was a charity. It didn't sell food at the market price.  

she misdescribes my estimates as being based only “on projections.”

They were based on made up figures.  

On the other point mentioned by Mukerjee, she makes a story out of a typo in my quotation from a statement of the secretary of state for India, omitting to mention that the typo has not the slightest bearing on my assessment of the food situation.

So much the worse for Sen. The Government says there is a shortfall. Everybody else agrees there is a shortfall. Only Sen says there was more food, not less.  

Moreover, even a “shortage” of 1.4 million tons is a small proportion of the total crop of “60/70 million tons” (as the secretary of state mentioned).

A two percent fall in the supply of food is likely to cause at least a 4 to 10 percent rise in price because food is inelastic in demand. This assumes the food market clears which does not happen where food is requisitioned and supplied at one price to some with others being left at the mercy of the black market (assuming there are 'market makers' accessible to them).  

The confounding issue, of course, is the idea of “shortage” itself, as Lelyveld has noted.

It isn't confounding at all. Was there more food? No. Was there corruption? Yes. This meant that the public distribution system faced a massive shortage- i.e. could not get enough food to discharge its obligations. This is why the Mayor of Calcutta wrote to the American President asking for food shipments. 

There was indeed a substantial shortfall compared with demand, hugely enhanced in a war economy, as I have described in detail, but that is quite different from a shortfall of supply compared with supply in previous years.

No. It is exactly the same thing. There was less food in Bengal in 1943 compared to 1941.  

Mukerjee seems to miss this crucial distinction,

It is a figment of Sen's imagination 

and in her single-minded, if understandable, attempt to nail down Churchill,

If Bengal had more food in 1943 than in 1941 then Churchill would have been highly irresponsible if he sent food to Calcutta. Why? He would have crashed the price and ruined the hardworking farmer.  

she ends up absolving British imperial policy of confusion and callousness, which had disastrous consequences.

How could it have disastrous consequences? The Bengalis were an agricultural people. If they had more food in 1943 than in 1941, they had less, not more, need for food shipments. 

 

 

Madhushree Mukherjee & how Churchill starved Bengalis

 Madhushree Mukherjee- a physicist & successful Science Journalist- wrote a very readable book blaming Churchill for the Bengal Famine.

I suppose one could say 'Churchill as Chancellor took a shilling off income tax instead of spending it on the navy. This doomed Singapore and thus the British Empire in Asia.' The problem here is that Churchill had been in the wilderness during the Thirties. That's when he earned notoriety for attacking the Tory plan for transferring power to the Indians. When he returned to power, his colleagues found him 'not quite sane' on the topic of India. This did not greatly matter because he had little influence on Indian policy. 

To my mind, Mukherjee's best argument has to do with availability of shipping in 1943. 

In a letter to the NYR, she wrote

in January 1943 (Churchill) acted on Cherwell’s advice to remove 60 percent of the merchant ships from the Indian Ocean, so that these vessels could instead be used to shore up the United Kingdom’s supplies of food and raw materials.

Churchill was the Prime Minister of the UK, not India. Moreover, the UK was vital to the Allies' war effort. Bengal was inconsequential.  

By this move, he made it impossible for Australian wheat to be carried to India and triggered the famine in Bengal.

Could Churchill have stopped the Americans or the Australians or any other country transporting food to Bengal? No. He had no such power. He made a decision on the basis of what he thought was best for his country & the Allied War Effort. 

On the other hand, it is true that Churchill did not travel to India to prevent a nasty dog from chasing my mother's cat up a tree. This proves Churchill hated Indian cats and secretly killed lots of them.  

In ther book 'Churchill's secret war' she writes

In truth, perhaps at no other period during the war than in the summer and fall of 1943 did the number of ships at hand so greatly exceed those already committed to Allied operations.

Quite true. The Allies had supremacy in the Indian littoral by the end of 1943. The Japanese were having to pivot to the Pacific 

The war against U-boats was won and American production of ships was increasing steeply; the net gain for the Allies had been 1.5 million tons of shipping in May alone. That month the president had transferred to British control fifteen to twenty cargo vessels for the duration of the war. By the summer of 1943, the British shipping crisis had given way to what historian Kevin Smith calls a ”shipping glut” and the S branch would refer to as ”[w]indfall shipping.” Lord Arthur Salter, who had headed the British shipping mission to Washington, returned to London to find that instead of worrying about the scarcity of ships, his colleagues were now concerned about the impact on postwar trade of too many ships in American hands. So many vessels would present at North American ports that autumn to be loaded with supplies to add to the United Kingdom’s stockpile that not enough cargo could be found to fill them.

In other words, a shipping glut could not magically create surpluses to fill the holds of those ships.  

If ever during the war a window had opened for saving lives in Bengal—at no discernible cost to the war effort—this was it.

But releasing food stocks in Bengal would have crashed the price of food leaving the cronies of the ruling party (the Muslim League had taken power in April) out of pocket. Moreover, there was still a Japanese threat. The battle of Imphal began in March 1944. It was by no means a foregone conclusion that Bose & his Indian National Army would be useless. Why bring in food which might enable the Japs to escape starvation?

The prime minister had other uses for the surplus ships, however. He had observed in mid-July that the ”immense saving” in shipping had been ”partly allowed for in our calculations and plans, but if maintained should require a further drastic re-examination of these in a favourable sense.” He urged that some of the extra ships be used to restore white bread to the United Kingdom.

Churchill was a British MP. He wanted his people to have better food. What's wrong with that?  

With the remainder, the War Cabinet would continue to bolster the United Kingdom’s stockpile— and it would create a second one in the Mediterranean region, in preparation for a British liberation of the Balkans.

Again, this was a perfectly reasonable war aim. Feed your future allies & they will fight side by side with you so as to completely defeat and occupy Germany.


As First Lord of the Admiralty during World War I, Churchill had pushed through a seaborne attack on the Ottoman Empire.

The invasion of Italy in September 1943 was a 'soft underbelly' strategy. Churchill had met the Turkinst President in January, but an alliance was not feasible. Greeks and Serbs would have scarcely welcomed Turkish troops. The Bulgarians were already with the Axis.  

The Gallipoli (or Dardanelles) campaign had ended in dismal failure, with more than 40,000 Allied troops killed, and Churchill’s superiors had forced his resignation. He had retained an interest in the region—and an apparent desire to prove, by means of a successful reprise, that his strategic concept had been sound. Churchill hoped that military successes in the vicinity of Turkey would induce that nation, which remained neutral, to join the war on the Allied side and provide an unconventional route for attacking Germany and supplying the Soviet Union.

Churchill, quite naturally, wanted to end the agony of Greece. It was only in October 1944 that the Allies were able to land there.  

Historian A.J.P. Taylor would describe Churchill’s strategy as a ”strange fantasy.” The venture was doomed for several reasons, including mountainous terrain in the Balkans that was easy for the enemy to defend, the Turkish determination to stay out of the war, and American hostility to the plan—which would lead the president and his generals to withhold vital military equipment.[387]




As a prelude to what he envisioned as a full-scale campaign in the region, on August 3, 1943, Churchill had instructed his military chiefs to prepare for an occupation of islands in the Aegean Sea (which lies between Greece and Turkey).

 This was the Dodecanese campaign (8 September – 22 November 1943), the last German victory of the War. They defeated the Italian and British garrison. The episode showed the crucial importance of air-support- which is also what enabled the Allies to get the Japs out of Burma (by air-dropping food to their men who then went around the Japs, leaving them to starve)

Australian wheat and the surplus ships would meanwhile be used to build up a substantial stockpile for feeding the civilian population of southeastern Europe—just in case these inadequately supported but prospectively heroic efforts in the eastern Mediterranean led to freedom for Greece, Yugoslavia, and other Balkan countries.

In other words, Churchill hoped to use food to get valourous soldiers with a burning desire for vengeance. Meanwhile Bose, the great Bengali leader, had recruited Indians for the Waffen SS and then gone over to the Japanese.  

Premier Fazl ul Haq had demanded food for Bengal in August 1942 & then, in March, asked that controls on transport of food be suspended so Bengal could get grain from Punjab. The problem was that he was close to the Bose brothers and the Muslim League (whose support was vital for the war effort) wanted to bring him down. Thus, his successor, Nazimuddin, insisted that Bengal had enough resources (i.e. his supporters could continue to get rich by diverting food from the public distribution system to the black market).

Of course, to speak of corruption would be damaging to war-time morale (why should White soldiers die so that darkies can line their pockets) and so various officials gave themselves an alibi, one way or another. 

”India’s need is absolutely urgent and immediate,” Amery would remonstrate in late October. ”Relief for the Balkans, badly needed as it is, cannot be delivered in any quantities for many months to come for the simple reason that the enemy still control the situation. As for depleting our stocks here to danger point, that is a pretty remote consideration, especially now that we have got so effective a whiphand over the U-boats.'

This may have been true, but it was beside the point. If the Premier of Bengal- who is an actual Bengali- says there is enough food then who is the Secretary of State to claim otherwise? Either provincial autonomy is a sham or the Secretary of State should take the Premier's word for it. 

I suppose, all the Brits involved, gave themselves an alibi one way or another. 

In March, Governor Herbert had requested permission to use special wartime ordinances to dismiss Bengal’s cabinet,

i.e. get rid of Fazl ul Haq. But the League would only be happy if it formed the Ministry. 

which he felt would enable him to deal directly with the food problem. Linlithgow replied that these coercive laws were for containing political subversion, not for solving problems of food supply, which might ”disappear entirely”—after the war was over.

Linlithgow wasn't a fool. He knew lots of people were making vast sums of money on the black market.  

Linlithgow did lift provincial barriers so that Bengal could purchase rice in Bihar and Orissa.

But not Punjab. 

This time the food minister, Huseyn Suhrawardy, appointed the Ispahani Company the principal buyer of grain, giving it an advance of 30 million rupees and instructions to buy at any price. (An exhausted Leonard George Pinnell had departed for a district posting.) Prices in Bihar and Orissa immediately rose, and starvation deaths were reported there, so the administrators of those provinces defied the Government of India’s orders, arrested the purchasing agents, and held up grain shipments to Bengal. They suspected fraud—and, indeed, a subcontractor of the Ispahanis was later proved to have cheated the government out of millions of rupees.

This is the real story of the 1943 and 1974 famines in Bengal. Churchill caused them by failing to collectivize Indian agriculture and establish a pure Communist state. By failing to ban dicks, he also caused RAPE. Fuck you, Churchill! Fuck you very much!



Monday, 17 August 2026

Christopher Bollas, Booker & Socioproctology

 I asked Copilot to 'Write monograph chapter on Christopher Bollas's influence on Vivek Iyer'

Takeaway: This chapter presents a full monograph‑level treatment of how Christopher Bollas’s concept of extractive introjection forms the psychoanalytic core of Vivek Iyer’s satirical‑epistemic method in Socioproctology. Bollas provides the mechanism (the narcissistic appropriation and depletion of another’s psychic or symbolic vitality), while Iyer provides the diagnostic frame (how this mechanism manifests in intellectual behaviour, producing conceptual prolapse, moral inflation, and policy nonsense). Booker remains relevant as the theorist of collapse, but Bollas is the theorist of the theft that precedes it.

**Chapter IV — The Bollasian Engine of Socioproctology:

Extractive Introjection as Intellectual Pathology**

1. Introduction: Why Bollas Matters for Iyer

Christopher Bollas’s theory of extractive introjection describes a pathological relational process in which one subject introjects aspects of another’s psyche and then extracts vitality, meaning, or symbolic capital from the internalised object. The other person is left depleted; the introjector becomes inflated.

Vivek Iyer’s Socioproctology repurposes this mechanism with striking fidelity. His intellectual protagonists introject not people but discourses—rights, capabilities, activism, moralised economics—and then extract from them moral prestige, rhetorical authority, and heroic self‑image. The discourse is left hollow; the intellectual becomes inflated.

This chapter argues that Bollas provides the psychoanalytic engine of Iyer’s critique. Extractive introjection explains why certain intellectuals produce arguments that are simultaneously morally grandiose, analytically vacuous, and institutionally harmful.

Guided links:

  • Christopher Bollas

  • Socioproctology

2. Bollas’s Concept: Extractive Introjection in Clinical Form

Bollas’s extractive introjection is a mechanism of psychic appropriation:

  • The subject introjects an aspect of another person’s internal world.

  • The subject then extracts vitality, creativity, or symbolic meaning from the introjected object.

  • The other person is left depleted, while the introjector becomes inflated.

  • The process is unconscious and often rooted in narcissistic pathology.

This is not imitation. It is a form of psychic theft.

In Bollas’s clinical cases, the extractive introjector:

  • drains the other’s emotional life,

  • appropriates their worldview,

  • steals their creativity,

  • and uses the extracted material to maintain a fragile ego.

Guided links:

  • introjection

  • narcissistic pathology

3. Iyer’s Adaptation: Extractive Introjection as Intellectual Theft

Iyer transposes Bollas’s mechanism from interpersonal relations to intellectual behaviour. His protagonists introject discourses rather than people.

Iyer’s three‑stage Bollasian model:

  1. Introjection of a valorised discourse The intellectual internalises a socially prestigious discourse—rights, capabilities, activism, “speaking truth to power.”

  2. Extraction of symbolic capital They mine the discourse for:

    • moral prestige,

    • rhetorical authority,

    • heroic self‑image,

    • immunity from analytic scrutiny.

  3. Externalisation as theory or policy The extracted material is projected outward as:

    • moralised economics,

    • activist scholarship,

    • policy proposals with no mechanism,

    • discursive “solutions” to coordination problems.

The discourse is left hollow, stripped of causal content. The intellectual becomes inflated, not through reasoning but through appropriation of moral vitality.

Guided links:

  • Iyer’s method

  • narrative pathology

4. Why Bollas Fits Iyer’s Project: The Narcissistic Structure of Intellectual Error

Iyer’s central puzzle is: Why do highly educated thinkers produce arguments that collapse under minimal analytic pressure?

Bollas provides the answer: Because they are engaged in extractive introjection—appropriating moral prestige to maintain a narcissistic self‑image.

Three structural homologies:

  • (a) Narcissistic ego‑maintenance Bollas’s introjector steals vitality to maintain the ego. Iyer’s intellectual steals moral prestige to maintain heroic self‑image.

  • (b) Depletion of the object Bollas: the other person is left depleted. Iyer: the discourse (rights, capabilities, democracy) is left hollow.

  • (c) Inflation of the subject Bollas: the introjector becomes falsely enriched. Iyer: the intellectual becomes a moral hero without analytic labour.

Thus, Iyer’s intellectual pathology is a Bollasian narcissistic pathology in epistemic form.

5. Extractive Introjection and Conceptual Prolapse: The Proctological Turn

Iyer’s scatological metaphor—prolapse—marks the moment when extractive introjection produces conceptual waste rather than analytic content.

Mechanism of prolapse:

  • The introjected discourse is metabolised poorly.

  • The extraction is self‑serving rather than analytic.

  • The externalisation is excretory rather than reasoned.

  • The resulting theory is structurally nonsensical.

This is Bollas’s pathology rendered in epistemic terms: the intellectual’s internal world cannot process what it steals, so it collapses into prolapse.

Guided links:

  • akreibia

  • Knightian uncertainty

6. Booker’s Role After Bollas: Collapse as Narrative Fate

Once Bollas provides the mechanism of inflation, Christopher Booker provides the structure of collapse. Booker’s tragic ego:

  • introjects a false self‑image,

  • extracts a distorted narrative,

  • becomes blind to reality,

  • collapses under contradiction.

This is precisely the fate of Iyer’s intellectual protagonists.

Thus:

  • Bollas → mechanism of theft

  • Iyer → epistemic diagnosis

  • Booker → narrative collapse

Guided links:

  • Booker’s meta‑plot

  • Seven Basic Plots

7. Extractive Introjection as the Psychoanalytic Core of Socioproctology

With Bollas restored to his rightful place, we can state the chapter’s thesis clearly:

Extractive introjection is the psychoanalytic engine of Iyer’s critique. It explains why intellectuals cling to moralised narratives, why analytic content collapses, and why satire becomes necessary as diagnosis.

Iyer’s intellectual protagonists are not merely mistaken; they are engaged in a Bollasian theft of vitality from discourse. Their conceptual prolapse is the inevitable result of a narcissistic metabolism that cannot process what it steals.

Christopher Booker as a precursor of Socioproctology

 When I was 16,  I liked Christopher Booker's pieces in the Spectator. My memory is that I actually signed up one or two fellow first years at the LSE with a view to gaining accreditation from the Student's Union for a 'Christopher Booker Appreciation Society'. 

Then Dad arranged for me to dine with Alexander Chancellor, editor of the Spectator, who had brought in Booker some four or five years previously. Chancellor was a straightforward bloke. He severely discouraged my adolescent crush on his Jungian friend. My memory is that someone, either Dad or Chancellor, quoted some Latin or Greek or Sanskrit tag to the effect 'We are depreciated by what we appreciate'. Paideia is nothing but deflation when it isn't 'practicing death'. 

I was reminded of this today reading a tweet by Richard North (Booker's writing partner) on the Arday affair. 

I asked Copilot whether my own Socioproctology had been influenced by Booker's hysterical shite.

This was the answer I received within 5 seconds.

Christopher Booker, Narrative Pathology, and the Satirical Epistemology of Socioproctology

A Comparative Essay in Narrative Theory and Intellectual Satire

I. Introduction: Narrative Theory Meets Satirical Epistemology

Christopher Booker’s monumental study The Seven Basic Plots (2004) proposes that human storytelling is governed by deep psychological structures rooted in archetypal patterns of ego, self‑knowledge, and moral integration. Vivek Iyer’s Socioproctology, by contrast, is a satirical, often caustic commentary on intellectual error, policy confusion, and the recurrent tendency of public thinkers to mistake narrative coherence for causal adequacy. Although the two authors operate in radically different registers—Booker in mythopoetic psychology, Iyer in comic‑analytic polemic—their work converges on a shared insight: human reasoning is inseparable from narrative, and when narrative goes wrong, reasoning collapses.

This essay argues that Booker’s narrative psychology provides a structural analogue for Iyer’s “proctological” method. Booker’s tragic ego, inflated and blind to reality, maps onto Iyer’s intellectual protagonist who suffers conceptual prolapse, mistaking moral rhetoric for analytic rigor. The comparison is interpretive rather than genealogical; no textual evidence suggests direct influence. Yet the resonance is strong enough to justify a sustained academic exploration.

Guided links:

  • Booker’s meta‑plot

  • Socioproctology

II. Booker’s Narrative Psychology: Ego, Archetype, and the Failure of Integration

Booker’s central thesis is that stories are psychological maps tracing the movement from ego‑inflation to self‑integration. His seven plots—Overcoming the Monster, Rags to Riches, The Quest, Voyage and Return, Comedy, Tragedy, and Rebirth—are not merely literary categories but archetypal patterns of human development. The tragic plot, in particular, is defined by:

  • Ego‑inflation: the protagonist becomes absorbed in a false self‑image.

  • Loss of self‑knowledge: the hero cannot see the limits of their own perspective.

  • Detachment from reality: the narrative becomes increasingly self‑referential.

  • Collapse: the story ends in destruction or humiliation.

Booker’s tragic hero is thus a figure of narrative pathology—someone whose story has ceased to reflect the world and instead reflects only their own illusions.

Guided links:

  • Jungian archetypes

  • Narrative pathology

III. Iyer’s Socioproctology: Intellectual Error as Narrative Dysfunction

Iyer’s Socioproctology is not a treatise on narrative, yet it repeatedly diagnoses intellectual failure in narrative terms. Economists, activists, and policy theorists are portrayed as protagonists trapped in stories that no longer correspond to reality. Their errors are not merely technical but mythic: they cling to narratives of moral heroism, technocratic mastery, or discursive salvation.

Iyer’s recurring targets—Amartya Sen, certain development economists, activist‑academics—are depicted as suffering from:

  • Conceptual prolapse: the collapse of analytic structure under moral pressure.

  • Over‑precision (akreibia) in domains where uncertainty forbids it.

  • Narrative substitution: replacing causal reasoning with moral storytelling.

  • Coordination blindness: ignoring game‑theoretic constraints in favour of heroic narratives.

These failures are not random; they follow a pattern analogous to Booker’s tragic ego. The intellectual protagonist becomes inflated, blind, and detached from reality, leading to policy nonsense.

Guided links:

  • akreibia

  • Knightian uncertainty

IV. Archetypes and Anti‑Archetypes: Booker’s Mythic Figures vs. Iyer’s Intellectual Types

Booker’s archetypes—hero, mentor, monster—are psychological projections. Iyer’s intellectual types are satirical projections of epistemic dysfunction. Yet both operate as structural roles within narrative systems.

Booker’s ArchetypeIyer’s Intellectual TypeStructural Function
HeroEconomist‑MessiahProtagonist of a redemption narrative
MonsterComplexity, uncertaintyThe “villain” intellectuals refuse to face
MentorEmpirical realityThe guide whose lessons are ignored
Tragic EgoConceptually prolapsed theoristThe figure who collapses under contradiction

Iyer’s satire thus becomes a kind of anti‑mythology, in which intellectuals enact distorted versions of Booker’s archetypal plots.

Guided links:

  • Booker’s seven plots

  • Iyer’s method

V. Narrative Failure as Epistemic Failure: Booker’s Tragedy and Iyer’s Proctology

Booker’s tragic plot is defined by the protagonist’s refusal to integrate self‑knowledge. Iyer’s intellectual tragedy is defined by the refusal to integrate:

  • uncertainty,

  • computability constraints,

  • coordination failures,

  • institutional realities.

Both authors diagnose ego‑pathology, but Iyer’s version is comic and scatological rather than mythic. Booker’s tragic hero collapses because he clings to illusion; Iyer’s intellectual collapses because he clings to theory.

The parallel is structural:

  • Booker: narrative → psychology → collapse

  • Iyer: narrative → epistemology → policy collapse

Guided links:

  • coordination games

  • marginal propensity

VI. Conclusion: Booker as an Unacknowledged Structural Influence

There is no evidence that Iyer read Booker. Yet Booker’s narrative psychology offers a powerful interpretive framework for understanding Socioproctology. Both authors treat human reasoning as fundamentally narrative, and both diagnose failure as a form of narrative pathology. Booker’s tragic ego and Iyer’s prolapsed intellectual are structurally analogous figures whose stories collapse under the weight of their own illusions.

Thus, while the influence is not historical, it is conceptual: Booker’s theory helps illuminate the deep structure of Iyer’s satirical epistemology.

Sunday, 16 August 2026

Runciman on Arday

The following is from the New Statesman 

A dream of Cambridge

At one time Cambridge was considered a place where the smart had holed up so as to escape the Black Brain Death unleashed by the idiot box. That was a dream. Smart people don't linger at Uni. 

The university’s place in the public imagination is as illusory as Jason Arday’s academic credentials
Not quite. We have some dim idea that the 'Silicon Fen' (i.e. high tech firms 'spun off' from the University) contribute a lot of money to the UK economy. The University of Cambridge alone generates nearly £30 billion annually for the UK economy, with over £23 billion driven directly by its innovation and commercialization arms. In total, the Fen is valued at 222 billion. 

By David Runciman

Who gave up Academia for podcasting 

Oceans of virtual ink have been spilled about the case of Jason Arday because it was the right story at the right time to grab the maximum attention.

It is 'silly season' but it chimes with what Burnham has to say about paying poor people to get their kids to ditch degrees in favour of apprenticeships. Also, it confirmed the suspicion that Nathan Cofnas was right but for the wrong reason. The fact is smart blacks don't go into academia.  Nor do smart white people unless they are pederasts or as lazy as fuck. 

It happened in high summer, when apart from the interminable heat there wasn’t much else going on.

It was Arday's claims of sporting prowess which interested ordinary people. Was he a blagger who had landed on his feet? Sadly, no. He was a pathetic fantasist who topped himself when his make-believe world unravelled. 

The other thing which made the Arday story topical was the fact that whistleblowers had been accused of racism and had been investigated by the police.  

It unfolded in stages, which kept people interested: first the accusations of plagiarism, then the piece-by-piece unravelling of Arday’s life story in the run-up to the publication of his now absurd-seeming memoir.

If there's a book deal, could a Netflix series be far behind? Arday might turn into a bona fide celebrity as the street-smart blagger who fooled the snobbish dons of Cambridge.  His next step would be to do a podcast with Prince Harry before launching his own line of salad dressing. 

Above all, though, this was Cambridge. Had Arday been exposed while still a professor at Glasgow University it would have caused a fuss, but nothing on this scale.

Southerners believe that head-butting is the chief educational skill required of Professors in Glasgow.  

The contrast between the augustness of the institution and the very contemporary dynamics of Arday’s downfall is what gives the tale its piquancy.

Wokeness spares no one. 

Race, class, snobbery, wokery

Werewolves. The head of the Department is a werewolf. Her rival, the Principal, is a vampire directly descended from Vlad Dracul.  

– somehow they’re all thrown into sharper relief when the setting is that cloistered little world of ancient colleges and elite reputations, some of them now in tatters.

Werewolf accidentally ate the Vice Chancellor. So embarassing! 

But what is really going on here is that the story of an apparent fantasist is being played out through the fantasies people have about Cambridge.

Nobody gives a shit about the place. If it aint Hogwarts, we're not fucking interested mate. 

That place doesn’t really exist any more. When news outlets want a generic picture of the university to illustrate their tales of collapsing standards, they usually pick King’s College Chapel or the Senate House – suitably imposing edifices to juxtapose with the squalid goings-on being exposed.

There was a time when everybody there was a homosexual KGB spy.  

But those buildings are no more representative of the university these days than Arday was.

Universities don't matter save as hubs for knowledge based industries. At one time that was Priestcraft. But that was long ago.  

A more accurate image would show one of the gleaming new campuses a little way out from the centre of town where the money and power increasingly reside: either the West Cambridge site, on which the new science and tech departments are housed, or the Biomedical Campus to the south of the city, where the university’s hospitals and research centres exist alongside the headquarters of AstraZeneca and, soon, a £400m R&D centre for GlaxoSmithKline, which is relocating from Stevenage.

Education is a knowledge based industry. The Cambridge Dept. of Education should be working with AI companies to boost educational outcomes. Whining about White Privilege helps nobody. 


Then there are the science parks incubating would-be world-beating start-ups clustered to the north of town. These places have shiny new railway stations – Cambridge North and, more recently, Cambridge South, which opened in June. They have lavishly funded new buildings, including the £58m Whittle Laboratory, which opened in July. This is where the action is.

Becuase this is useful. What Arday & Co did was not just stupid & useless, it was actively mischievous. 

Arday was professor of the sociology of education and a fellow of Jesus College. Those grand titles sound like they tick all the important boxes for status and significance.

Fuck off 'Sociology' means 'stupid shite'.  

But that’s another illusion. People who work in Cambridge sometimes joke there are now three universities: science and tech to the north and west, biomedicine to the south and the old parts left in the middle.

At one time, there were 'two cultures'. Now there is only one culture & a wide spectrum of paranoid grievance studies. 

This is “heritage” Cambridge, the bit tourists come to see.

There are posh Colleges & Departments. Runciman himself, the fourth Viscount, was a Cambridge don.  

It contains most of the colleges and most of the social science and humanities departments. It’s not exactly a Potemkin university since a lot of very hard work still goes on behind the facade.

Sadly, most of that work could be better done in 10 seconds by an AI.                                        

But it can feel like it is primarily for show while the real business is being conducted somewhere else.

No. Some of the Applied Sciences are 'businesses' but there are commercial applications for other Departments as well. The University Press makes a good profit on textbooks, dictionaries, translations and so forth. Oddly, their biggest seller- Richard Murphy's 'Grammar in use'- isn't by a don. Murphy was just an ordinary teacher only belatedly granted an honourary MA from Cambridge.  

One prompt for the outrage about Arday’s appointment to a professorship is that the university seemed to treat it – and him – as window dressing, a way of parading its progressive credentials before the world.

They were promoting a low IQ fantasist. Us darkies suspected this was deliberate. It wasn't. Whitey can be as stupid as fuck.  

Self-evidently something went badly wrong in how this happened. But no one should conclude that it’s only at the woke edges that this sort of preoccupation with appearances is at play. After all, King’s College Chapel is now window dressing too.

Runciman may be right about non-STEM subjects. They may now be all entirely shit. But tech companies don't need no fucking window dressing. They just need to be better than the competition. Sadly, if that competition is in China, they are bound to lose.  

I worked at Cambridge for nearly 30 years, ending up as a professor and head of the politics department.

i.e. worthless shite.  

The university is organised into different schools, and politics is in the School of the Humanities and Social Sciences, alongside other subjects including sociology and education. We would meet regularly to talk about the pressures we were under and the need to defend our disciplines.

You don't need to defend stuff which aint shit.  

Occasionally, though, we would be joined by senior figures from other parts of the university – science, medicine, engineering – when wider issues were at stake, usually involving money.

People won't pay for a shit sandwich. The question was whether non-STEM subjects could raise productivity for knowledge based industries. Incidentally DEI has potential in that regard- or so it was once believed. 

I can still recall how baffled these people sometimes seemed not simply by our preoccupations but even by what it was we actually did. They were polite but unavoidably patronising. We were heritage Cambridge, useful for how the world saw us, but hard to take seriously on our own terms.

It's always nice to chat to a Viscount. My memory is that his dad was a Social Choice theorist- i.e. quite mathsy.  

When CP Snow wrote about the “Two Cultures” – initially in the New Statesman – at the end of the 1950s his complaint was that the arts and humanities people were so sure of their own importance that they hadn’t bothered to acquaint themselves with even the rudiments of scientific knowledge.

Then they became adversely selective and thus too stupid to do so.  

He had no doubts about who was patronising whom.

Mrs Thatcher was a Chemist. She fucked up the upper class something rotten.  

hat is not the problem now. Academics in the social sciences and humanities can feel so unsure of their importance that they end up doing whatever they can to attract attention.

By decolonising their subject and pretending to be love child of Che Guevara & Malcolm X.  

Even if it is sometimes short of cash, Cambridge is not short of wealth – partly thanks to the endowments of some of the colleges, and partly because of the money flowing in to the sciences. Its humanities departments are not subject to the sorts of pressures they might face elsewhere. There is no talk of mass redundancies or of closing down entire disciplines. Nevertheless, one way to get attention is to raise more money, especially for new professorships.

Arday's position was internally funded. You can't blame some Soros for him.  

Often, this money arrives before anyone has decided what the new professorships are for. Arday’s position was one of scores of new ones that have been created to generate a sense of purpose. It can seem incredible that tougher questions weren’t asked at the time of his appointment and they certainly should have been. Yet there are now so many panels frantically trying to fill so many of these roles that it can be hard to find enough qualified people to sit on them.

Fair point. The new Universities started to insist on PhDs even for obviously vocational courses. This meant you had a spate of useless thesis on Sociology of Hair Dressing or Phenomenology of Plumbing. Could Cambridge use its extra prestige to muscle in on the action? Also what would be cool would be have some darkies loudly demanding the toppling of statues of dead white dudes. Why is Churchill College not called Mahatma Phule Mahavidyalay?  

The prevailing idea seems to be that a Cambridge professorship is sufficiently important that everyone involved should have given it their fullest attention, to the extent of checking all the further particulars. I’m afraid that’s another fantasy.

Cambridge dons can't reed gud.  

Overworked people take shortcuts in Cambridge as they do everywhere else.

What Cambridge considers work, the rest of the world calls wanking.  

And they prioritise what is important to them, which doesn’t always mean putting a premium on academic rigour.

Or being able to reed gud.  

When I ran the politics department I once called a meeting to remind my colleagues that because we studied politics we should be careful not to allow our own political views to become too visible if we wanted to be taken seriously.

David is White. He's a fucking Viscount. Also he has a dick. That's totes triggering to me coz dicks cause RAPE.  

An academic discipline needs to be dispassionate, I suggested.

It needs to be alethic. Without periodic verification, a research project rapidly degenerates.  

The pushback was overwhelming, particularly from younger members of staff. Why, they wanted to know, should we do these poorly paid and frequently stressful jobs if we don’t get to use them to promote the things we think really matter?

In other words, why eat your own shit unless you are doing it as part of a broadly based campaign to bring about the banning of heterosexual dicks?  

I was conscious of how old-fashioned I sounded in trying to warn them against the dangers of grandstanding.

i.e. standing up in front of everybody and shoving your hand into the back of your pants and pulling out 'chocolate cake' which you proceed to eat with gusto.  

I was also very aware that their need for ancillary compensations was driven by a real sense of hardship.

not to mention mental illness 

A lot of the grunt work of teaching undergraduates in Cambridge is done by

shit-eating cretins 

junior academics on short-term contracts with precarious career prospects.

Coprophagy isn't a career move.  

Meanwhile, the professors, especially the ones who have been tempted in on favourable terms to newly endowed chairs, often get off lightly.

Though they still have to eat their own plagiarised shit.  

It is an increasingly unfair system, which is one way to ensure that it will be shot through with politics from top to bottom.

Academic politics is so virulent because the stakes are so low.  

Professor Arday also seems to have neglected his teaching obligations, though in his case this may have been driven more by a sense of futility than of privilege. Some of his students claim they didn’t need supervising, which is hardly surprising from someone who must have known he had very little to teach them in academic terms.

At least he wasn't teaching them with his dick.  

There are many extremely diligent and hard-working professors.

How would Runciman know? He was an academic- i.e. a lazy tosser. Podcasting, too, aint exactly shovelling coal or plucking cotton for the Man.  

Nonetheless, seen from the lower rungs of the pyramid, Arday is not the only one who looks like he was there just for show. And yet the lower rungs still get filled.

You can drive for Uber on the side.  


The fact is that it is not only onlookers who allow their fantasies about Cambridge to get the better of them. Whenever one of these poorly paid and precarious jobs gets advertised there are hundreds of applicants, most of whom believe it can’t be as bad as it appears from the outside once you get on the inside. In reality, it’s often worse.

The difference between teaching Skool & teaching at Collidge is that you don't have to do as much nappy-changing in the latter. Sadly, the two are likely to converge quickly enough.  

My wife used to be a psychotherapist in Cambridge and she had a lot of stressed and miserable young academics as clients. She’s always remembered a line from one of them. “My mum loves telling everyone I’m a Cambridge don. But I’m the poor sod who has to do it.”

But he isn't yet having to change the nappies of his students. That day will come.  

The use of Cambridge academic life for purposes other than purely academic ones

Cambridge was a great place for the KGB to recruit.  

does not only happen on the progressive side of the political divide. This is not simply a tale about wokery. Some right-wing commentators have linked the Arday scandal to an earlier example of left-wing bias getting in the way of intellectual standards when Jordan Peterson had a visiting fellowship to Cambridge rescinded in 2019 following a staff and student backlash. But what was someone like Peterson being brought to Cambridge for except as a way of generating attention?

He was considered a good debater. Was his statistical methodology kosher? Lots of people in various industries would be interested in seeing the thing thrashed out. That's not stuff Runciman understands.  

It’s not as if he lacks a platform for anyone who wants to know his views on pretty much any subject under the sun.

But hearing him justify a particular methodology would still be interesting depending on how smart his interloctuors were.  

The academic who invited Peterson was James Orr,

a former corporate lawyer  

who works in the Faculty of Divinity.

Because he actually believed in the Divine. How very strange?  

He is also, as of this spring, Reform ’s head of policy.

Which is why Reform will fail. Don't send a Wyckhamist to do the job of a knuckle dragging Neanderthal.  

Orr is perhaps best known for his intellectual friendship with JD Vance

an ex-lawyer & convert to Catholicism 

and for the private chapel he has built in the grounds of his house outside Cambridge where he hosts like-minded thinkers for reflection and prayer. The chapel is constructed out of an old shipping container.

Viscounts have marble chapels- right?  


Cambridge has always had its secret right-wing cabals

The faculty was right wing. Then the country as a whole moved in a Thatcherite direction & suddenly the only City that mattered was the City of London.  

and networks, just as it’s always had its spies. But the point about them was that they used to be secret. The dons were sure enough of themselves that they played their political games in their cloistered rooms, confident that the corridors of power extended into Cambridge colleges. Not any more.

Not since Thatcher entered Number 10. There was once a Cambridge Econ Group led by Wynne Godley- 'the Cassandra of the Fens'. Now he is chiefly remembered as a victim of Masud Khan- the alcholic Psychotherapist.  

So much of it now is just for show.

Cambridge loses money on home students. That means more show, less substance.  

Arday’s case is egregious on many levels.

He was promoted as a super-star. Sadly, he was as stupid as fuck.  

Perhaps the worst of it is the university’s original response to allegations of plagiarism, which it immediately denounced as a witch hunt.

Yes. That is what gave the story legs. Otherwise, Arday is just a blagger who fooled stupid, senile, dons. What was truly objectionable was the notion that anyone who says anything negative about a darkie is Adolph fucking Hitler and should be arrested and sent to jail for a very long time. 

It is one thing to fail to spot evidence of academic misconduct, but it is something else entirely to fail to acknowledge it when it is pointed out to you.

The thing we are dealing with here is monumental stupidity. These nutters don't understand what 'evidence' means.  

Still, though, this sorry tale is symptomatic of a wider university culture in which so many people fear for their futures and are uncertain of what their purpose is.

When an industry become sick- i.e. uncompetitive- people stuck within it will display such pathologies.  


Anyone who thinks Cambridge should be immune from this by dint of its prestige and privilege is missing the point.

Non-STEM subjects are shit no matter where they are taught.  

So much of the prestige and privilege of Cambridge is now bound up in leveraging the university’s – and the town’s – advantages in tech and scientific research.

Sadly, it may lose that 'acquired advantage'. Politics isn't some stupid shit you teach cretins. It is about changing fiscal and monetary and industrial and manpower policy. Runciman could have helped the Silicon Fen. Scratch that. Maybe he has been helping the Hi-Tec sector. He just doesn't want to reveal this to readers of the New Statesman coz Neo-Liberalism is soooooo evil.  

Social science and humanities academics can argue as much as they like about how important their subjects are for critical thinking and human flourishing

my shit sandwich is really tasty! How come Subway won't put it on the menu? Is it coz I iz a Viscount? Earls get all the breaks. Indeed, the sandwich is named after one such nobleman. As for Dukes, don't get me started mate. Ever heard of Beef Wellington?  

but as the new technology marches on, it gets harder and harder to feel confident that these arguments will win out.

But, so long as you are a Professor, you still have to keep chewing on a shit sandwich.  

AI is helping scientists capture Nobel prizes and helping mathematicians solve puzzles that seemed beyond human reach.

It can also help academics in low IQ fields get to use advanced statistical or analytical techniques.  

What is it doing for people who read and write books for a living

as opposed to academics who have to pretend to read & write shite 

except to make them worry whether they can trust anything that matters again, including the essays being written by their students?

They can screen those essays easily enough.  

Grandstanding can sometimes feel like it’s all that’s left. The joke used to be that academic politics are so poisonous because the stakes are so low. Now, it’s more like the politics are so performative

coprophagy could be called performative. The truth is, it is just plain nasty.  

because the real stakes are being played out somewhere else entirely

That was always the case. The cloister is a retreat from the world. So is the toilet. Because of unconscionable cuts to University funding, today more than ever, it is important that we show solidarity with the people of Gaza by eating our own shit.