Tuesday 6 December 2022

Ashutosh Bharadwaj- bard of imbecility

Ashutosh Bharadwaj- whom I once thought a promising young journalist and writer- has written some formulaic self-assured tosh for Outlook on Gujarat.  Did he write it in his sleep? 


The book of Gujarat opens with two cantos.

A book can contain many cantos. But it can open only with one. How fucking stupid is Ashutosh? Perhaps he meant- the opening book of Gujarat contains two cantos. But if so, why not say so? Is there some law that if you are writing formulaic shite about Gujjus being greedy bastids , then your English must suck ass big time?  

The first, the great mercantile ethos, is a civilisational legend.

An ethos can't be a legend. You can't just slam big words together coz u think they sound posh. 

I suppose one could say 'Gujarat's mercantile ethos is legendary' but one would immediately feel a bit of a fool for such a banal opening remark.  

The second, the equally great amnesia, survives in few memories.

How the fuck can amnesia survive in memory? The word amnesia literally means 'not being able to remember shit'.  Where did this cretin learn English? 

The first is about the business tycoons Gujarat is proud of, the second about the danseuses

the word means a French ballet dancers. Gujarat lacks any such creatures. It has dancers- indeed, it has an indigenous bharatnatyam tradition because a Gaikwad married a Tanjore princess in 1880- but no danseuses. Ashu wants to sound posh but won't take the trouble to write grammatical sentences which aren't oxymoronic.  

who could not become the state’s mascot.

Mascots are animals or anthropomorphic representations which bring good luck. One might say 'Gujarat has chosen as its emblematic representative, not beautiful trepsichoreans, but business tycoons' but one might then want to vomit. 

One is about the men who established oil refineries and ports, the second is about

dancers? No. Ashu has forgotten about them. Why? Is it coz Gujarat is rubbing off on him? Or is he simply writing this shite in his sleep?  

the men who founded academic and scientific institutions. The first tells us what Gujarat is,

because the guys who established refineries and ports succeeded 

the second what it could have been.

coz the guys who didn't failed. Why? Academic and scientific institutions need money. Oil refineries and ports make money. True, some industrialists helped set up Design and Business Schools whose graduates make a lot of money. But that's not the type of academia Ashu approves off. 


And it applies to politics as well. When Digvijaya Singh was the Madhya Pradesh chief minister, he often advised young Congress MLAs, “If you want to be in politics, leave every other profession aside. Politics is a full-time job.”

But that senile fool lost to a Hindu nun in 2019.  Currently, his own full time job seems to involve making Congress unelectable by encouraging Rahul to become a Messianic version of Gerta Thurnberg- that too at the ripe age of 52!

At the posh office of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) in Ahmedabad last week, party spokesperson Jayesh Vyas shared an important distinction.

No. He pointed to a telling contrast.  

“CVs of the north Indian politicians often have ‘social service’ as a profession.

This is especially true if they are out on bail or are known to have killed at least a dozen people

In contrast, most Gujarati politicians are into various professions,” Vyas told Outlook.

They have proper jobs. Shocker! Why can't they simply devote themselves to rape and murder? 

“Your profession gives you satisfaction and social success. You may be a party leader, but you also want self-fulfilment,” he added

by earning money honestly rather than raping and killing people.  

The ethos pervades various spheres of life. Elsewhere, kids learn tables of 1, 2 and 3. In Gujarat, they also do dodh (1.5), sava be (2.25), pauna char (3.75) and the like.

That's a good line. Ashutosh has talent but doesn't care what he writes because anti-Modi articles aren't actually read by anybody. 

If it is all about dhandho (business), the great marketer will win politics too.

Is there some Indian-English meaning to the term 'marketer' I'm not aware off? Obviously, good marketeering can deliver political victory. But everybody knows that. Why mention the subject?  

It explains why despite both the Congress and the BJP firmly supporting the Sardar Sarovar Project, the BJP reaped the harvest.

So, the BJP is better at propaganda.  

“The Congress couldn’t convince urban voters that it had brought the project and fought for it as well. The BJP and Narendra Modi have taken all the credit,” says Ahmedabad-based journalist Devanshi Joshi.

This suggests that Congress is shit. Why? Rahul. That's the obvious answer.  

It Explains Why Despite Both The Congress And The BJP Firmly Supporting The Sardar Sarovar Project, The BJP Reaped The Harvest.

Because Rahul is a moon-calf.  

It also explains the BJP’s attack on Rahul Gandhi after Medha Patkar joined ‘Bharat Jodo Yatra’.

They had also tried to pretend that Kejriwal would choose that harridan as AAP's CM candidate!  

For several decades, the Congress argued that Patkar ignored the state’s interests. How can you now accommodate her without explaining your change of stance to your voters?

Blame Pappu.  


The Myth Makers

Significantly, the Vaishyas (trader community) form just around 5 per cent of Gujarat’s population.

He means 'strangely'. It is not significant that the community is so small. It is strange that this should be so. However, Vaishyas are numerically small in every part of India. 

But the mercantile trait is not community specific.

It is absent in some communities. 

It comes from a distinct coastal geography that organically pushes the resident to trade and entrepreneurship.

Unless it doesn't.  Anyway, the Marwaris are from the desert and are even more famous for their entrepreneurship. 

Cambay and Surat had been India’s leading ports before the emergence of Bombay.

But Bombay and Karachi dwarfed them.  

The great Harappan port of Lothal was just 80 km from the modern Ahmedabad.

While the great city of Harappa was just 24 km from Sahiwal- which nobody has heard of. 

A senior Gujarati academic underlines that over 80 per cent of teachers in colleges and universities have websites related to the stock market always opened on their computers.

This is because of coastal geography of Harrapan times- right?  

Be it journalists in newsrooms, or people at a funeral, the dominant conversation is dhandho.

24 per cent of Gujerati households own stocks and shares- a figure 6 times higher than the national average. But Maharashtra has more registered stock market users.

The ‘Gujarat Model’, hence, is a marketing gem.

No. It is based on private sector investment. It is not the case that Gujarat is the Madison Avenue of India.  

The buyers ignore that the state always rode on high growth.

What buyers? Those who buy 'the Gujarat model'? Why should they ignore anything which supports their belief system? If Gujarat was entrepreneurial and had high growth in the past, that explains why it is entrepreneurial and will have high growth in the future. 

When the nation was struggling under British rule, Gujaratis

were mainly living in Princely States 

were doing great business and funding the freedom struggle, of which M.K. Gandhi’s Sabarmati Ashram was a prime example.

Smart Gujaratis were emigrating. In America about half of all Motels appear to be owned by Patels.  

Contrarily, the state’s indices have slipped in the last two decades.

Because of immigration and demographic replacement as entrepreneurial lineages have fewer kids.  

At his Ahmedabad home, Hemant Shah, former principal of HK Arts College, shares the details of his well-researched book, Sachhai Gujarat Ki (The Truth of Gujarat). From 1980 to 2000, the average annual growth rate of Gujarat was around 15 per cent,

Gujarat grew slower than the national average in the 80's. Hemant Shah isn't an economist. Arvind Panagariya is.  

while from 2001 to 2021, Modi’s period, it slipped to 8.21 per cent.

Nope. It rose under Modi. He was brought in after an earthquake which yielded negative growth. However, it is certainly true that Gujarat was not the only growth story in India.  

With 919 women per 1,000 men, Gujarat has among the worst sex ratios in the country, substantially below the national average of 940. “The Gujarat Model is an illusion created through propaganda. It is a Disneyland model of governance to satisfy kids of all ages,” senior Gujarati journalist Urvish Kothari tells Outlook.

People pay good money to go to Disneyland. The plain fact is that Gujarat has received a face lift over the last two decades. Tourism has grown faster than the national average. 


Another consoling myth is of vegetarianism. The BJP’s chief spokesperson Yamal Vyas proudly says that Gujaratis are vegetarian, ignoring the various surveys that say at least 40 per cent of the Gujaratis consume non-vegetarian food.

But that still puts Gujarat in poll position.  

Mahatma Gandhi is Gujarat’s most famous ambassador for vegetarianism. But his culinary habits were not native.

His people were vegetarian.  Gandhi's innovations led to his chronic constipation. Still, at least he didn't have the typical Hindu paunch- which is why he could roam around half-naked. 

His ancestral town of Porbandar has a predominant meat-eating culture.

It was also a British protectorate. Times change. Get over it.  

The port town’s economic and social life is dependent on fish. The town is lined with rows of trawlers and fishnets, with the smell of fish wafting in the air.

Vegetarianism is on the rise in Europe and America. Suck it up. 

Here stood Wali’s shrine before rioters destroyed it.

Apparently, Gujarati Hindus object to being massacred by Muslims. I suppose, that is why Gujarat didn't go the way of Sindh.  

Similarly, notwithstanding the BJP’s repeated claims that the Congress destroyed Gujarat, the party does deserve some credit.

The BJP is speaking of Indira's dynastic Congress- which truly was shitty.  

India’s greatest cooperative movement that made the country the world’s largest milk producer happened under the Congress rule.

Old Congress rule. Indira split of from Congress (O).  

It created India’s most adorable brand, Amul, and provided self-employment to millions of rural women, even prompting Shyam Benegal’s movie Manthan. Vyas listed the completion of the Sardar Sarovar Project among the party’s greatest achievements in the last five years.

Modi deserves credit for getting water to Kutch etc. However, the campaign against Medha Patkar was a joint effort. It showed that the activists could become ballot box poison if properly targeted.  

Never mind that the project was conceived during the Congress rule and its foundation stone was laid by Jawaharlal Nehru in 1961. Not to mention premier institutes like the Indian Institute of Management and National School of Design.

For which Indira's Congress can scarcely take credit.  


Sangh’s Spadework and Arrival of Modi

But myths alone cannot explain Modi’s sway.

Nor can Ashutosh because he is a shit journalist. 

Even Hindutva is just one cog, though a major one, in the wheel.

Vaghela was plenty Hindutva. Why did he lose to Modi?  

Before Modi arrived, the BJP–RSS had already laid the foundation by uniting the numerous OBC communities in the state under the Hindu umbrella.

Because they had been left out of the KHAM strategy.  

The BJP had also begun winning over the milk and sugar cooperatives, which were the backbone of the state’s rural life and were under the Congress’s dominance.

The BJP got its start in the cooperative banking sector- which is where Amit Shah is from. Milk & Sugar cooperatives began slipping from Congress to Janata Dal fifty years ago. But keeping them on side is a continuous struggle. A separate question is whether AAP can disrupt this strategy.


Third, the Sangh also co-opted various religious sects

it developed good relations with them. There could be no question of co-optation.  

in the state that was already home to a Shankaracharya Pitha (Dwarka)
Swami Swaroopanand of Dwarka Peeth is a big Sonia fan. He did 'grha pravesh' for her at 10 Janpath and she returned the favor by taking a dip in the Ganges at the 2001 Mahakumbha in Allahabad. She also completed all the rituals for the dead- including obsequies for Sanjay- as befitting the senior daughter-in-law of an orthodox Pundit family. The very next year, she announced that if the Supreme Court permitted it, the Sankaracharya would take charge of building the Ram Temple at Ayodhya under a Congress government. If Congress later got an anti-Hindu tag it was the fault of the woke Lutyen's elite ventriloquising on behalf of the Dynasty. 
and two jyotirlingas (Somnath and Nageshwar), besides being a major centre of Jainism. The Swaminarayans and Morari Bapus filled the religious vacuum

God be praised, Gujarat has never had a religious vacuum.  

of the upwardly mobile population in a rapidly growing Gujarat. Though these sects spoke a language of love and harmony, they allowed themselves to be appropriated by the BJP and overlooked the gradual othering of Muslims.

Nonsense! The Arya Samaj was founded by a Gujarati. Jain Acharyas have always praised those who put up stout resistance to the invader. Ahimsa does not mean offering your bum for buggery to all and sundry.

Does Ashutosh remember that Muslim terrorists attacked Akshardham temple? Why speak of the 'gradual othering' of Muslims when, the truth is, a new Jihadist ideology had arisen which claimed that Osama had defeated both the USSR and the USA. The ordinary Muslim should trust in God and attack the kaffir because the time for their overthrow had arrived.  

The Hindutvaisation of the Gujarati middle class was thus distinct from north India.

Where Muslims had been killed and chased away. When my grandfather first went to Delhi, it was a mainly Muslim City. By the time my Mum arrived there, it was almost wholly Hindu and Sikh. Does Ashu really not know what happened to Delhi's Muslims? As for Bihar, both Nehru and Gandhi said again and again that Hindu Congressmen were slaughtering innocent Muslims. True, this had nothing to do with religious zealotry. The Hindus just didn't want the educated and charming Muslim politician or bureaucrat to thrive under the new, Democratic, dispensation.  

Being cushioned by a religious preacher with a benign image and moral lessons, it foreclosed any need for introspection.

But this is a description which better fits Christians- who killed 1.3 million Muslims in their 'war on Terror'- than Hindus.  

Around that time, the Ahmedabad textile industry also marked a decline. The industry had created neighbourhoods of Hindu–Muslim workers.

Which turned out to be a mistake. They should have created dormitories for rural girls while gang-masters brought in males from far away who would be rotated back to their regions before they got Bolshie. However, it was Delhi and the Planning Commission which decided to fuck up Ahmedabad & the 'Bhavnagar model of Development'. Modi is merely the anthropomorphic name given to Economics' remorseless tsunami of revenge.  

Their shared interests ensured that communal violence did not last long and people regrouped again.

Fuck off. Their shared interest was in riots coz the Trade Union leaders were gangsters. From 1969, riot succeeded riot coz rioting is like totes Commie- right? And Communism is like totes Scientific- right? 

With the decline of the industry 1980s onwards, the Sangh Parivar could easily take the lower OBCs and the Dalits away from Muslims.

More especially if Muslims kept killing kaffirs. The same thing happened in England later on.  

Notably, the Gujarati Muslims are not poor like those of Bihar or Uttar Pradesh.

Unless they are from Orrisa or Bihar or Uttar Pradesh 

Reflecting the state’s ethos, they run several businesses, hotel chains and NGOs. The community once dominated the underworld and bootlegging business, of which Abdul Latif, whose life supposedly inspired Shah Rukh Khan-starrer Raees, was the poster boy. A Robin Hood-like figure, he was seen as a justice provider during communal riots. In 1987, facing several cases, including some under the National Security Act, he won from five different constituencies in the Ahmedabad municipal elections. It was perhaps the first instance of the Congress losing the Muslim vote.

But a Congress Muslim Minister of Fisheries got him to import bombs from Pakistan to trigger riots in Surat. That was the beginning of the end for Raees- because having escaped to Karachi, he fell out with Dawood and was foolish enough to return. 

The BJP immediately sensed a major target. When Latif was arrested in 1996, the then chief minister Keshubhai Patel was hailed as ‘Hindu Hriday Samrat’, a sobriquet the Congress could have never envisioned when its governments arrested Latif.

Coz Congress had sponsored Latif's facilitation of post-Babri terrorism. How fucking ignorant is Ashu? 

Communal riots took place during the Congress rule as well.

It became intrinsic to the KHAM strategy.  

In fact, several Muslims say that many Congress workers are hostile towards the community.

No non-Muslims like jihadis coz kaffirs be like that only.  

In 1969, Gandhi’s centenary year, the city of Ahmedabad, where he had made his great ashram, witnessed the worst communal riots the country had seen till then.

 Muslims started it. That was silly of them.  But some Muslims did well out of it. 

But such violence was largely witnessed in urban centres.

Because there was no fucking money in rural areas. Also, the majority simply killed the minority or reinforced their chains of debt-bondage. 

The massive land of Saurashtra was less communal than central Gujarat,

Crazy shit! Saurashtra was so fucking casteist that even Madrasis were appalled by it.  

and Kutch was even more peaceful.

Coz rapists were killed before they could get an erection. One might as well say, 'Saudi is very peaceful. Kaffirs are greatly loved there.'  

The 2002 riots mutated the state’s society as the communal violence reached the rural hinterland. Muslims were tactfully

the cretin means 'tactically' 

targeted in areas they were weaker.

And areas where they were stronger. That was the whole point. The lesson was 'you have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide'. That's why it worked.  

But The Anti-Muslim Stance Alone Cannot Explain Modi.

Gujarat's anti-Muslim stance had been increasing from the time of the Marathas.  

He Also Successfully Established Himself As A Pan-Gujarat Leader, A Nath (Protector)

As opposed to what? A bumboy?  

 He skilfully exploited the anti-Congress sentiment that was always present in Gujarat and goes back to the Mahagujarat movement of the 1950s, a feeling that the Nehru government had wronged Gujarat by offering a clipped state.

This is foolish. Congress has split often since. There may have been anti-Nehru sentiment, but Nehru wasn't Congress.  

“Many Gujaratis had been living with a sense of injustice they faced by the Congress—towards Sardar Patel, the Narmada cause, a truncated Gujarat state. Narendrabhai restored the Gujarati asmita. Attacks on him only intensified the Gujarati pride,” says Jayesh Vyas.

This is stupid shit. Ahmed Patel tried to prevent Sonia from attacking Modi as 'Maut ka saudagar'- a merchant of death- because the implication was that Gujjus cared only about money, not genocide. Attacking Hindus- even if you use the term Hindutva- is a bad idea in a Hindu majority country. 


As prime minister, Modi strengthened his claim. For a society that had not seen any pan-Indian leader since Independence,

which community? Gujjus? But they'd had Morarji as PM 

a community that believed Nehru was unduly favoured over Sardar Patel, Modi was the immaculate cultural–political brand. He could sell the desolate Rann of Kutch as a tourist destination.

No. He could develop its tourist potential. But Kutchis, who can sell a Tamil a Camel if they want to, would always do a better job.  

He could also show the Muslims their place.

Muslims show Kaffirs their place so much better- if Muslims are in the majority.  

But it has also made the party an ancillary unit. “They want to make Congress-mukt Bharat, but they are also making neta-mukt BJP. In Keshubhai’s time, there were several strong parallel chief ministers, including Pravin Togadia.

A nutter who probably did want to ethnically cleanse Muslims. The vilification of Modi enabled him to sideline that highly intelligent Doctor.  

But now no one knows about him,” says Kothari. Now, politics is about inventing new marketing strategies.

Whereas previously it was about deciding what to have for lunch. 

One afternoon at the BJP office, Outlook met several students of the Ahmedabad School of Digital Marketing. The young girls handled social media platforms of the BJP as part of their “internship with a corporate”. They were apolitical a month ago, but the stint with the party had made them Modi’s fans.

Because the BJP would hire kids who hate them in the hope that they'd change their mind- right? 


Collective Amnesia

Mercantilism has dissuaded higher pursuits of learning.

Fuck would this cretin know of higher pursuits?  

Social scientists Achyut Yagnik and Suchitra Sheth

both of whom are as stupid as shit 

note in their book, The Shaping of Modern Gujarat, that the “single-minded focus on generating profits” led to a “steady decline of the intellectual tradition”, as “Gujarat has not seen another towering personality since the twelfth-century scholar Hemchandracharya”.

Srimad Rajachandra is equally good. Plenty of other Jain Acharyas were too.  

They add that “the Gujarati word vediyo, which literally means ‘a person who has studied the Vedas’, has become synonymous with bookworm or a learned fool”.

This happened over a thousand years ago when Purva Mimamsa bit the dust and Vedanta and Bhakti triumphed.  

In 1936, the great scholar Muni Jinvijay commented, “The main aim of the people here (in Gujarat) is to figure out ways to make the most amount of money.

Whereas in America, smart people were figuring out how to be as poor as shit. Why does Ashu not get that the reason he is writing crap English is coz those who speak English are 'homo oeconomicus'. They aim to maximize earnings.  

That knowledge which enables them to achieve this aim is considered useful knowledge. All other knowledge, according to them, is useless.”

This is also the Hindu notion of 'artha' as meaning-that-is-use. C.S Pierce and the American pragmatic philosophers came to the same conclusion. Gujarat however has a complicated Soteriology which is ontologically dysphoric. It isn't fucking Las Vegas. It is a place of Family and Spiritual and Moral Values. 


It leaves a few young writers who are experimenting with various genres anguished.

Because they have no fucking talent.  

“There is an absence of intellectual culture in Gujarat. You find people in Bengali or Marathi discussing the likes of Neruda and Marquez

there has been no point doing so since the fucking early Seventies. Both were shit.  

but not in Gujarati. Most young poets here write popular ghazals or mediocre romantic poetry. It helps them earn a name among the masses,” Mehul Devkala, a young Gujarati poet, tells Outlook.

 The cunt did a short film about fading memories of Mahatma Gandhi coz that's what you do if you have no fucking talent and are Gujju and have bills to pay. 


And thus, the islands of excellence remain ignored.

There were no islands. There were swamps of stupidity.  

Rajni Kothari

was as stupid as shit 

was the founder of one of India’s greatest academic institutes, the Centre for the Study of Developing Societies.

But it didn't fucking develop at all. It got more and more retarded.  

A fellow Gujarati Dhirubhai Sheth was among the founding members and later became its director.

 I have to admit that Sheth was a truly world-class intellectual- but only after he died. 

Two of India’s greatest contemporary dancers, Mrinalini Sarabhai

who died at the age of 98 five years ago and therefore is not fucking contemporary at all 

and Kumudini Lakhia,

who is 92. What fucking contemporary dance is she doing now? Twerking?  

lived a few kilometres from each other for decades in Ahmedabad.

That's how come they didn't bump into each other when they were prancing around.  

The state has given some of the finest modern painters ranging from Bhupen Khakhar

who is shit but maybe Gay or something

to Gulam Mohammed Sheikh

who is shit but Muslim 

and Tyeb Mehta,

who is shit but maybe Muslim or Gay or soemething 

with Vadodara as a major centre for the arts.

Gujju cuisine having it already made it a major center for farts.  

And above all, Vikram Sarabhai, the father of India’s space programme?

Which didn't get off the ground till the fucker was safely dead.  

Several of these illustrious names could be the state’s brand ambassadors.

No. They were shit.  

During my travels in Gujarat, I asked academicians and writers: What accounts for the great amnesia about the state’s cultural treasures?

They were shit.  

Why was there hardly any obit in Gujarati media for Kothari or Sheth?

Coz everybody knew they were shit.  

One of the answers offered was that they did not influence Gujarati life, because

they were shit 

they left for Delhi and wrote in English.

but were shit which is why they left no mark anywhere.  

“Gujarat unki karmbhoomi kabhi nahin raha (Gujarat was never their place of work)” was a reply over a traditional Gujarati dinner.

Nor was anywhere else. A latrine is not a karmabhoomi.  

Somewhat understandable, but contrast this with the Bengalis’ love for Amitav Ghosh

who is a Professor. Bongs want to be Professors coz them dudes get tenure and are as stupid as shit.  

or their embrace of Amitabh Bachchan as Banglar jamai (Bengal’s son-in-law) even though Jaya Bhaduri never lived in West Bengal.

But Bacchan did. How fucking ignorant is Ashu? 

If the native Gujaratis can be proud of the diaspora industrialists spread across the globe, the distance from scholars who moved to Delhi or London seems tragic. “We don’t celebrate our literary giants the way other languages do. People are not even aware of the difference between a newspaper columnist and a writer,” adds Devkala.

Because writers are shit. Ashu is both journalist and writer. He is utterly shit.  


The biggest question Gujarat’s civil society faces is its silence over the 2002 riots.

No. Amit Shah is boasting about it to get votes.  

Gujarati Hindus are generally benevolent.

If by 'benevolent' you mean 'stingy as shit'- sure.  

One does not see everyday lawlessness, but the state has silently acquiesced to the Muslim becoming the invisible ‘other’.

Nope. Gujjus killed them with vim and vigor.  

After 2002, a large number of Muslim victims came to the ghetto of Juhapura on the western edge of Ahmedabad. Unlike Delhi’s Seelampur, an urban slum of poor Muslims, Juhapura’s residents include business tycoons, builders and activists. During the 2002 violence, Justice M.H. Kadri, a serving judge of the Gujarat High Court, had to leave his official residence and seek shelter elsewhere.

He moved from near Gujarat College to Navrangpura- about 3 minutes drive. He died in his house there in 2014


“I teach the Constitution of India, but was forced to vacate my office in Naranpura and shift to Juhapura. Imagine my pain and sense of defeat,” says Sophia Khan, a senior activist, who has been working on gender and legal issues for decades.

We can also imagine her former neighbors sense of relief and joy at this 'senior activist' fucking off.  

“My Muslim identity became prominent only after 2002. Before that, I was a citizen of a secular country.

But, Khan was secretly hated by the Hindus and Jains of Naranpura coz of all the senior activism she was getting up to.  

My icons were never based on religious identity.

They were based on being as much of a nuisance as Medha Patkar- right? 

I had been living in a cosmopolitan locality since my birth,” she says, sipping coffee at Cafe Coffee Day near Judges Bungalow Road.

Sadly, 'senior activists' can turn 'cosmopolitan localities' into stinky shitholes without running water and electricity if given half a chance.  

These Muslims wear their Gujarati identity

whereas other Muslims take off their Gujarati identity to go skinny dipping- right?  

and underline that despite the ostracisation, they focused on education and business.

as opposed to what? Farting and Beaver impersonation? 

Kherunnisa Pathan, a native of Bhavnagar district, lived with her parents in Chandkhera locality of Ahmedabad before they were forced to come to Juhapura in 2002. When I asked her whether the locality’s name is one word or two, she said in Sanskritised Gujarati: “Sanlagn (joined).”

Which was odd coz you'd have expected her to use a German term- right? 

Will the silence ever catch up with the Hindu Ahmedabad,

What silence? Amit Shah is saying Muslims were taught a lesson they haven't forgotten. 

especially those who drive all the way to Juhapura at night for a guilty bite of kebab at ‘Magic Chickens’?

Whites would go to Harlem night-clubs but Jim Crow remained. 

Will it be remembered that the creator of Hindi cinema’s most iconic image of a woman, Mother India, was a person named Mehboob Khan, born in a village of Surat?

A Hindu bania tries to fuck Nargis. This was a film which could have been made in Pakistan.  

Will Wali Mohmmad Wali, the 17th century poet who wrote a poignant poem about separation from Gujarat, ever find a place in the pantheon of Gujarati asmita?

No. Sickular cunts have shat on him.  

Parting from Gujarat leaves thorns in my chest
My heart-on-fire pounds impatiently in my breast
What cure can heal the wound of living apart?

Money. Sadly, Aurangazeb didn't give Wali money. His journey to Delhi was wasted. Still, the decline of Mughal power meant that Wali's genre would prevail more especially under Maratha overlords.  


His shrine, situated right opposite the police headquarters in Ahmedabad, was demolished by the rioters in 2002. On the other side of the city last week, a Gandhian volunteer at the Sabarmati Ashram was spinning the charkha, demonstrating how the wooden loom works. He also showed Gandhi’s river that had “turned into an artificial stream”. “It’s no longer our Sabarmati,” the old man said, pointing at the Narmada water that now feeds the Sabarmati.

This is true. The river no longer smells entirely of shit. Gandhians are displeased. Everything should smell of shit.  


In the ocean of amnesia, it is perhaps inevitable for the rivers to acquire new waters.

No it isn't. Oceans acquire new water because rivers flow into them whether or not they have amnesia or dementia or whatever. But Ashu's tosh requires new waters. It can recycle its own sewage of stupidity endlessly.  


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