I've just received a marriage proposal- conditional upon my turning Muslim
The offer is made by a lady estimable enough on all points- judging by her self-description- the only particular furnishing pretext to pause being her assertion that she is 'modest and wears hijab' and thus nobody's 'blonde arm-candy'. (I suspect my suitor is American.)
This gave me a dynamite idea for a new type of Hijab or Burkha, or whatever it's called, with 'My other three wives are Blonde Arm Candy' stenciled on its back, like bumper stickers declaring your other car to be a Porsche.
Incidentally, I always rejected the thesis of Salman Rushdie's 'Veils suck' article- his own marriage would have been saved had he kept on the Brown Paper Bag de rigueur amongst South Asians back in the Seventies which, it is tragic to note, the rising generation of affluent, I-phone owning, young people now turn up their noses at, especially in France, where Monsieur Sarkozy has felt obliged to bring in legislation banning these new-fangled fabric hijabs- the first step, no doubt, to introducing strategically placed holes in the cast iron Parisian pissoir- enabling the male half of that loathsome race to propagate itself without injury to the aesthetic sensibilities of its females.