The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard
“For the kingdom of heaven is like
nothing of which we have knowledge. We might express this by saying it is like a cat which is a highly respected actuarial scientist because of the excellent training asteroids receive at Hippopotamus Business School.
a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.
He was free to pay them more. A denarius was the minimum not the maximum. However, God does not admit people to Heaven in return for any work they may have done. Grace is a wholly gratuitous gift.
“About nine in the morning he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’
i.e. he would pay them 'pro rata'- i.e. about 80 percent of the going wage. He was free to pay them more. But if he did so, it would be only fair to pay more to the workers who had already put in a couple of hours worth of work.
So they went.
“He went out again about noon and about three in the afternoon and did the same thing. About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’
It sounds as though the landowner was charitably inclined.
“‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.
“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’
“When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’
Thus well and truly rubbing their noses in it. What is fair is to pay the guys who worked longest first so they can depart.
“The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’
In other words, the landowner practiced 'wage discrimination'. What will happen next year is that nobody will work for him till five o'clock in the afternoon. He just screwed himself. Moreover, according to Jewish law- he should have followed the custom of the land. The fact that the workers are grumbling suggests that he hadn't done so.
Obviously, if the owner of the Vineyard does not care whether or not it is financially viable- just as God doesn't need to make a profit on Creation- then he can do anything he likes- e.g. hire workers just so as not to see them sit idle or hire cats instead of workers because cats are cute. I suppose that is the point of this parable. God is a crazy mofo, from our point of view. There is no rhyme or reason, we can discern, to his decisions to reward or punish us in the afterlife.
“But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius?
Jewish law had a notion of an 'unconscionable contract'- i.e. one where the weaker party has to take what is offered. But judges could set aside this contract and ensure a more equitable outcome. Even if there are no judges, in future, this landowner will find it hire to get labour at the time he needs it.
Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’
He was welcome to give money as a gift rather than as payment. What was unfair was that different people were paid a different pro-rata rate even though they were doing the same work, in the same place, at the same time.
“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”
What actually happened was that the first to embrace Abrahamic religion were accorded the last place by Christians who persecuted them mercilessly. That's not the Kingdom of Heaven. It is Satanic and very much of this Earth.
What is true, theologically speaking, is that God's 'economia' is mysterious to us. We don't know why 'of two babies similar in every respect', one is predestined for salvation while the other is damned to an eternity of Hell fire.
Still, it must be said, Christianity was a great way for useless people to get very rich. That's why I gave Virendra Fernandes my comic book collection in return for his promise to get me into Pope Skool. One of these days, I'm going to excommunicate everybody unless they pay me a lot of money.
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