Tuesday, 19 April 2011

credentialism and failed programs

Why do failed programs- political or research- continue to clutter up Gesture politics and Post Graduate studies? It is now possible to do a structured PhD in Gandhian Economics at Hyderabad. They actually have a center of Gandhian Economics Thought! This is hilarious. But then we also have Hazare supposedly fasting to death for some silly sop to the sort of people who think NDTV isn't a pile of shite. 

Why is this happening?

The old answer would have been cognitive dissonance. It's like what happens when Christ says he's coming back from the Grave and the Apocalypse goin' down reel soon y'all. (This was Radhakrishnan's theory). The early Xtians are holed up in their caves waiting for the shit storm and... nothing happens. So some quit the Church and get jobs and stuff. The others, because of cognitive dissonance, go to the other extreme. The now think Christ is actually God almighty, except no God ever before had been quite so Mighty,  and so the thing to do was grovel down before him while being careful to chow down regular on his flesh and blood- comfort eating, it's what got me through the last Supernatural hiatus.

Like I said, that was the old answer. It don't work anymore. Why? Coz nobody doing a PhD in Gandhian Shite believes it aint a pile of crap. No body watching Hazare thought the guy was really gonna starve himself. And yeah passing some silly Lokpal law is gonna get rid of corruption. That will definitely happen.

So if it's not cognitive dissonance driving these failed programs what is? Credentialism. That worthless Gandhian Econ PhD gonna get you 'patrimonial credentials'- i.e. a cushy berth on some fraudulent Microfinance outfit or corrupt NGO. It's like Swami Agnivesh horning in on Hazare's shtick. The guy did child labor to get a credential but he abandoned it for sexier stuff once he'd milked that for all it was worth.

We live in a society where credentials have lost all meaning. There is a full blown 'credentialist crisis'. It is in this context that failed research programs and failed political strategies remain on the curriculum or contribute to the Media sound-bite culture.

I personally have got all my credentials- I fasted to death on the 'Hang Modi for Godhra' issue as well as 'Hang Bush and Blair for Iraq' and 'Hang all non-Naxals to save them the bother' and of course the Lok Pal Bill.
As such I am a shaheed. The word means martyr and therefore 'witness'. Since I am a shaheed I am an unimpeachable witness. Thus you must accept that I have given my life, fasting to death, several thousand times in the last twenty minutes. It was my fast-to-death which retrospectively caused British to quit India.

Why are my credentials not accepted in the same way as Hazare's and Agnivesh? I'm just too damn sexy is why. Darn it, Mom warned me not to get that boob job after my wife left me. Still, I had the last laugh on that flat chested bitch. Mind you, I do get some funny looks in the locker room. So, kids, don't try this at home is what I'm saying.

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