Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Shahrukh Kant

I still recall my first exposure to Shahrukh Khan. I was in Standard Eight and the movie was 'Kabhi Kabhi.' Shahrukh played a fat lady on her wedding night. She was crying like anything because she was a great tub of lard and, in consequence, had every reason to fear that her husband (played by Amitabh) terrorized by the proximity of her vast juddering folds of fat, might lose bladder control and urinate profusely upon her- something similar happened to me on my own wedding night- thus occasioning that vast whale of a woman's plentiful piping of her eye while singing a song about Diet pills. 'I am poet of one or two diet pills. But due to I is a great big fatty I should have swallowed the whole fucking bottle. Boo hoo, Amitabh looks very much like he is going to urinate upon me. Of course, that might be his fuck face. Either way, I'm screwed.'
Since then, Shahrukh has made a name for himself as a versatile actor with a post modern, ironic, style such that he takes the audience into his confidence, tipping us the wink and disarming criticism in advance, as if to say, "I know, I know, isn't it ridiculous for me to be hamming it up like this? But, hang on a tick, do you see this totally over the top mannerism or tic that I'm selling? I bet you think this is me trying to be all 'method' or Artsy Fartsy or something.? Not a bit of it. Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this bit of business. C'mon yaar you know I'll come through when it really matters!"
Shahrukh is a female friendly actor precisely because he doesn't have to dominate the screen all the time. He husbands his resources and only goes Super Nova when the Script demands it.

However, I do feel that Shahrukh is acting contrary to the Kantian Categorical Imperative when he insists on putting on a fat suit and a wig and then replacing, in my video collection, the big lard ass fatty la bola actresses of the film heroines of the 70's with his own deeply sexually ambiguous performances.
My own cameo in the St.Columba Middle School Max Mueller Centenary Play is given below.

Shahrukh, who was a few years junior to me at School, did not, unfortunately take the hint provided by me (I'm the one in the diamond sequins) and for this reason, though I am not endorsing Shiv Sena stand against him, still, I do feel Army should take action.

1 comment:

Sanjay K said...

Very disappointing post. Please go back to pissing on Ghalib's grave.