Thursday 31 March 2022

Anand Patwardhan's Constitutional Pineapple

Scroll.in has republished two different articles in its current issue, both alleging serious violations of the Constitution. I have referred to the serious violation suffered by Salik Ahmad in my previous post. Here I want to look at Anand Patwardhan's claim that the merger of the National Film Archives and Films Division is an assault on the Constitution. Our archived history is in danger of disappearing or being re-cut and rewritten.

This shite was first published in 'Countercurrents' . Why has Scroll put its imprimatur on it? Does it really believe that something unconstitutional has been done? In that case why has it not approached the Bench or, at the very least, published a legal opinion in this regard? 

As with Salik's cri de coeur, it may be that there is a hidden subtext that it is up to us to discover. What could it be? Let us find out-

The merging of four distinct public bodies under one single umbrella, controlled by one single ministry under one single minister whose most infamous utterance just before the outbreak of deadly violence in Delhi in 2019 was “shoot the bastards” (a loose translation of “goli maaro salon ko”) would have been alarming in of itself.

No it wouldn't. Indians want rioters who kill policemen to be shot. If they aren't shot immediately, it is the economically vulnerable amongst minorities who suffer most. Why does Patwardhan not know this? Is it because he has been paid to pretend otherwise? But, is he earning his pay? Is Scroll? That is the question.

Now it is true that 'the film fraternity' complained that they hadn't been consulted when this was first announced. Now they have been consulted. But the constitution does not require any such consultation. Patwardhan may believe otherwise. But Patwardhan is as stupid as shit.  

What is more alarming is that these developments are not about one individual.

So, this isn't just about Patwardhan being miffed that he won't get any more Government money to make his worthless documentaries. 

They are the fruit of an ideology that has been at work for over a hundred years, producing hatred based on fake news and the demonisation of fellow citizens of India.

This cunt is publishing fake news and demonizing fellow citizens of India.  


Their most famous victim was Mahatma Gandhi.

Patwardhan thinks he is the Mahatma. Godse is shooting him by cutting off funding for worthless documentary films. Biden must take action! 

But the killings and the hatred have never stopped, they just lie below the surface till the haters gather enough power to deliver.

Deliver what? I think it must be 'fruit of an ideology'. Where will they deliver it? The answer is 'up Patwardhan's ass'. It is a fact that documentary film makers have very tight anal sphincters. That is why, though all their documentaries are shit, so few of those turds are released.  Clearly, for proper delivery of fruit of ideology up Patwardhan's asshole, much power must be gathered. 

The only question which remains is which particular fruit Patwardhan is hoping for. I am betting pineapple. Nothing less will do for Patwardhan Sahib- who is 72 years old. 

Today they bask in the glory of election victories won by sheer money power and the ruthless control over every democratic institution originally set in place by the power of India’s secular and democratic Constitution.

The fucker means that Hindus vote for the BJP. They think Patwardhan is a piece of shit. They are not even shoving a nice big pineapple up his pining asshole. This is clear violation of India's secular and democratic Constitution.  

But this Constitution means nothing to those who sincerely and truly believe in dictatorship and majoritarian rule.

Patwardhan sincerely and truly believes this shit. Yet no nice pineapple is being shoved up his asshole. Gujjus, like Modi and Shah, are too fucking kanjoos to buy expensive items of fruit for this salutary purpose.  

Assault on the Constitution

The assault on the National Film Archive of India and Films Division (which also has a vast collection of post-Independence news and documentary films) should be seen as nothing short of an assault on our Constitution.

Why? These are loss making public bodies whose functioning needs to be streamlined. The best thing would be for everything they have to be put up on You Tube or something of that sort.  

Once our archived history falls into the hands of those who never fought for Independence from British rule, it will just disappear or be re-cut and rewritten.

Then campaign to get everything put on You Tube.  


As for the Children’s Film Society and the Directorate of Film Festivals, these were both bodies created to expand our cultural heritage.

They are shit. Defund them.  

One can only shudder at what the future holds if these institutions come under the control of a single poisonous agency.

If one is 72 years old and are pining for pineapple- sure, why not? But who else is shuddering? I am 13 years younger than Patwardhan. I fucking hated the 'Children's Film Society' and the 'Directorate of Film Festivals' because they were both utterly shit. My younger cousins weren't exposed to that shite because by the Nineties there was cable TV and then broadband and Multiplexes and so forth. The truth is the Public Sector failed in both Cinema and TV. India threw away money on miserabilist shite.  

And what indeed is this new agency? On the surface, it is actually an old agency called National Film Development Corporation that was meant to promote good independent cinema as opposed to the commercial cinema that came out of Bollywood. Initially, some good films were indeed produced or distributed by National Film Development Corporation. But their role soon turned into a clerk’s office where filmmakers could not be discovered even under a microscope.

So, Patwardhan agrees that this loss making shite should be curbed.  


At least the Films Division had existing staff, infrastructure, equipment and a large body of competent work. The National Film Development Corporation is a clean slate. Their only raison d’etre is to make money and even this they have failed to do. However once four bodies are merged into one and that body has the mandate to make a profit, it is not hard to predict what will happen next. Privatisation and the selling off of public assets. Films Division sits on highly lucrative land in Mumbai. It is a bonanza awaiting looters.

But 'looters' do sensible thing with assets and thus make profits and pay taxes. Instead of the Government making a loss, it gains revenue which it can use to fund expanding social welfare programs. Patwardhan objects because all he cares about is expensive pineapples for his rectal comfort.  


If those who believe in freedom of expression and the right to information stand idly by at this juncture,

they won't get pineapple- which Soros Sahib should kindly provide- and thus their rectal needs will remain unmet 

not only will our archives and valuable properties be destroyed or sold, we should not complain if a Kangana Ranaut or a Vivek Agnihotri become the ilk that decides what message is force-fed to the public at large.

People pay money to see Kangana. But people are not contributing even one paisa each so as to purchase appropriate pineapples for the purpose of satisfying Patwardhan's rectal cravings. This is the true scandal here. Nobody denies that Capitalism can lift the living standards of the poor. But- because of diabolical miserliness of Hindus- kanjoos Gujjus in particular- Patwardhan is not being provided large enough fruits of ideology for cramming purposes up his anus.

This is a clear breach of Constitution. Mind it kindly!  

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