Thursday, 1 September 2011

Rape-aXe for the Mind.

Finally, a free market solution to rape that's got real teeth- Rape-aXe- a latex sheath, invented by a South African woman, worn like a tampon, with razor sharp barbs guaranteed to disable the assailant and requiring surgical intervention to remove.

Needless to say, Career Feminists are up in arms against it coz ...urm... it's like the medieval chastity belt? and like women back then really wanted to get pregnant? and like die horribly in child-birth? and that's why  Patriarchy invented chastity belts? like to police and control wimmins' sexuality? and, it's like discrimination?  coz how come men don't gotta wear them? (Honey, trust me, we men do gotta wear 'em, at least if we want to travel on the Northern Line during rush hour and keep intact our darling little anal cherries for when you suddenly decide to hurry things along a bit and anyway you're getting your nails done tomorrow.)

What about Rape Axe for the Mind? There's bound to be a way to tap some of that Venture Capitalist silly money, we keep hearing about, by dressing it up as the next big iPhone app or something.

 It already exists and has been patented?!
 No, I hadn't heard about Marxism's mutilated dick.
 Still, serves it right for trying to force itself on the Bengali bhadralok.
 It kinda gives u the warm fuzzies for Ranajit Guha don't it? Still, best to avoid not just the parts of Vienna Guha currently illuminates with his Red Light, but the whole of Austria (recently revealed as ten times as corrupt as Germany)- coz, well, there's only so much temptation flesh & blood can bear you know.

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