As perhaps the most outspoken advocate for Affirmative Action based on the immediate granting of Educationally Backward, not to mention Mentally Fucking Retarded, Status for Iyers everywhere, I am subject to tremendous psychological pressure and mental trauma.
Still, I always believed myself to be a fat, stupid, Tambram, man. Now, my faith in myself has been shaken. An increasing number of African American Professors of Grievance Studies have been discovered to actually be White women. First there was Rachel Dolzeal. Now there is Jessa Bombalera who has confessed to being a Jewish lady surnamed Krug. Am I a White lady? Is my fancy Universal Remote, which doesn't work at all, actually a vibrator of some sort? How come I don't like Chardonnay? Is it coz I can only afford Babycham?
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