Why Congress can't be resuscitated

The Indian National Congress was formed by 3 different types of people

1) British ex-Civil Servants whose proposals for reforms had been ignored and whose careers had suffered. They wanted to ally with articulate Indians so as to lobby the Secretary of State for India to prod lethargic Viceroys in the right direction. They immediately formed a partnership with 

2) an Indian pressure group which had formed in London from the 1860s onward. This consisted of barristers, merchants, rising industrialists and intellectuals- like Naoroji who had made a study of India's economic woes. This pressure group was eventually able to get a couple of Indians into Parliament. Ultimately, the money-men- financing Gandhi- did get a modus vivendi with the Brits though this was at the price of the agriculturists and the consumer. 

3) the educated urban population of Bombay and Calcutta. However, other groups- e.g. Maharashtrian Brahmins based around Pune or Hindu traders in Punjab- could be more militant and have a greater sense of grievance. There were also young people who were influenced by revolutionary ideas- sometimes broadcast by Hindu holy men. These people generally lost out though some, who had become Communists, may not have realized it. The INC had taken them for a ride and then dumped them in a moral wilderness. 

Within a decade of its coming into existence, Congress was a house divided against itself. It increasingly split between the 'naram dal' moderates and the hot headed 'garam dal'. Even if the Muslims had not stood aloof, Congress could never have claimed to have represent all of India. Indeed, it had no leader who could be said to represent it in its entirety. Still, it was useful to the party to pretend this was not the case. This is where Mahatma Gandhi came in. He appeared a simpleton but he was a Saint of an Asiatic type. Obeying, or pretending to obey, his crazy injunctions might be just the demonstration of spiritual humility God required for the fulfilment of the Divine Plan. Yet, the fundamental problem remained. So long as Congress, like India, was split, it would be the Brits and the Brits alone who would decide when and how to leave. But this would be part of a much larger withdrawal and what happened in India would carry little weight unless there was some great spontaneous up-swell. But, even in that case, Indian politics was a waste of time save in so far as some group got more seats or jobs or other spoils of office. In other words, either the thing was sordid or it was a waste of time. 

By 1920, Gandhi -who understood that Congress did not want his crazy nostrums- took leadership of a Hindu/Muslim combine under the pretense that he would deliver Wilsonian, National, Political Independence of the type Ireland and Egypt and so forth were getting at the time. Of course, he was bluffing. He wanted to prove that the Indians were too shitty to rule themselves now and forever more. Instead, everybody should give up sex, eating nice food, wearing nice clothes, going to nice Schools or Colleges etc, etc. Spinning cotton, however, was cool. Thus, in Egypt, a non-violent agitation was successful but in India it was unsuccessful. Why? Saad Zaghloul was a lawyer from the countryside who made money for himself, married advantageously, rose in the Legislative Assembly, and led a moderate campaign of reform on the one hand and civil disobedience, to gain full independence, on the other. The Brits arrested and exiled him but this led to a revolutionary situation in Egypt. The Brits were reliant on Indian troops to hold Egypt by force but India too was in a revolutionary mood. So, in 1922, they accepted Egypt's demands and, by 1924, Zaghloul was back and had become Prime Minister. He didn't do crazy shit or demand crazy shit. Gandhi did. He surrendered unilaterally in 1922 which meant that Britain's hand became stronger. It could rely on Indian troops. This meant, going forward it could push back against Arab nationalism. Thus Gandhi's claim to support Khilafat and anti-Imperialism turned out to be a lie. He explained that what he objected to was violence, the threat of violence or, in the absence of either, other people not doing what he told them to do. Still, if violence must happen let it be done only by the Brits. Everybody else should go meekly to jail and explain to each other that by sulking in their prison cells they were actually striking a great blow against Evil Bastards who have sex and eat nice food and wear nice clothes and, horror of horrors!, send their kids to nice schools and get their wives treated by proper Doctors. 

After Gandhi unilaterally surrendered in 1922, Motilal Nehru & C.R Das made a fool of themselves by entering the Assemblies with the aim of showing that the Assemblies were useless. Folks pointed out to them that any Assembly which contained them was bound to be shit. They had only proved their own shittiness. At this juncture, Motilal's son was permitted by Gandhi to come forward and lay down the plan which actually came into effect in India- but only after Gandhi had raised up Jinnah to a position of equality so that Muslims could get Pakistan. Gandhi also coerced Ambedkar into a deal which Nehru, who genuinely didn't like casteism, would not have made. 

Still, we can't deny that the INC is a genuinely Nehruvian party in terms of ideology though it was Gandhian spiritual glue (and the money he raised) which held it together. Sadly Nehru's ideology was shit and he had no flair for either organizational work or negotiation. So what the INC was really about was money and patronage and the spoils of office and sulking for a bit in jail and then claiming to have been courageous warriors who freed the Indian nation from that Empire which schooled the Hindus in Democracy under the Rule of Law and led them step by step to Independence as a sovereign Republic. 

Nehru's own emotional dependence on Englishmen like Mountbatten and Blackett showed that what had really happened between 1917 and 1946 was Nanny having to be stern with a fractious little boy who, however, had always been middle-aged and who increasingly looked and sounded like the Headmistress of St. Trinians. 

A price had to be paid for Nehru and the INC's prolonged adolescence. India became less able to feed and defend itself. By 1965, Pakistan thought it could defeat its much bigger neighbor militarily and, in the following year, America thought it could threaten to let the country starve if it did not give up its independent foreign policy. 

Indira Gandhi, it turned out, was the only man in the Cabinet- or indeed a country which was meekly accepting forcible sterilization during the Emergency- but, it appears, this was only because she understood that her younger son, Sanjay, was incapable of holding down any sort of job and thus was only qualified to play a big role in Congress politics- by reason of its being as shitty as he was. In other words, Indira's motivation for clinging to power was to provide for her cretinous spawn.

Indira was like a mother tiger protecting a rabid cub. This is not to say she did not have sound democratic instincts. After the Gauhati session of Congress, when the Emergency was at its height, she realized that Sanju's cronies might arrange a nice little accident for her so as to stay in power. After that, they'd get rich industrializing the country on the Indonesian pattern in cahoots with the CIA who liked arranging accidents for inconvenient Third World leaders. That's why the Emergency was called off and the Gandhians and the Marxists and the Marxist Ghandians and the Gandhian Marxists were allowed to get together and prove beyond doubt, cavil or peradventure, that they were all utterly shit.

 Ludicrously this coalition of fractious tossers fell apart on the RSS dual membership issue. In other words, both Congress and that portion of Janata which was not Jan Sangh, went down the Nehruvian path of pretending that the RSS was Fascist and Fascism was only danger India faced even though the only people Nehru jailed and killed were Commies though, of course, other Congress leaders had plentifully ethnically cleansed Muslims. Still, Indian politics should consist of denouncing the RSS as Fascist- unless you belonged to the RSS in which case there was no ideological reason why you should not avoid factionalism to do first-order good and thus earn a reputation for public spirit. 

Rajiv Gandhi's landslide election victory in 1985 could have allowed the 'resuscitation' of Congress as a mass movement. But, for some mysterious reason, Rajiv chose to go down a different path- that of corruption. Why? Maybe, like other Indian politicians during the 70's, he had woken up to the fact that he hadn't piled up enough loot to keep his family wealthy for generations. He was just one election defeat from the dreary life of the salaried classes. Sonia began to play a bigger role as the clouds of Bofors gathered. In a sense, this made her a worthy inheritor of Rajiv's mantle and thus a credible Regent for Rahul. After all, big politics is about big money. Even if a new Cabinet comes in, they will need some help to loot the country and get their assets somewhere safe. In this context, Narasimha Rao's reign makes a lot of sense. VP Singh was clearly a troublemaker. The political class needed to grease each other's wheels, so that looting could proceed more smoothly. So long as there were coalition governments at the Center, Manmohan was the man to emulate. 'Liberalization' was just opaque enough for everyone to get rich and buy mansions abroad. 

The fly in the ointment was the moralistic, deeply provincial, RSS- more particularly after 9/11. Luckily Vajpayee wanted to play ball and so the giddy game could continue. 

Sonia Gandhi and Ahmed Patel get a lot of credit for political astuteness but, when it came to Modi and Gujarat, they failed miserably. Why? Patel could not stop Congress from crying 'wolf!' again and again even though no wolf was forthcoming. Instead of a 'merchant of death', what Gujarat got was good governance and economic progress. Demonizing Modi cashed out as demonizing Gujaratis. The problem is everybody likes Gujjus. They are straightforward and good company. If they don't lecture us on our shortcomings why should we lecture them about imaginary faults? 

Kejriwal began his career hurling abuse at Modi and Ambani and so forth. But he saw this made him look stupid. Similarly, Congress needs to forget its 'Modi is Evil/ RSS is Fascist' slogans so as to present itself as part of a united Opposition which has a rival candidate for the top job in 2024. For this to happen it must get rid of Rahul and wave goodbye to his sophomore 'ideology'. 

It is now more that 20 years since the Godhra riots. Yet Rahul Gandhi explains his 'Unite India journey' as follows 

'We named this yatra as 'Bharat Jodo Yatra' because thousands of people feel that the ideology of BJP/RSS is breaking the country."

India is a country with over a thousand million voters. A few thousand may believe that the ruling party wants to 'break the country' but they are clearly wrong. Under Modi, the country is more united and stands higher in the world. The canard that he was planning ethnic cleansing in Gujarat was exposed long ago. Crying Wolf, is simply foolish given that other parties and leaders have emerged.

Currently, we look around in vain for an alternative to Modi as Prime Minister. By 2024, it may be that Nitish Kumar and Arvind Kejriwal and Mamta Bannerjee and other opposition Chief Ministers can agree on a rival candidate. But Congress will play little role in this. Had Gehlot given up Rajasthan to head Congress, he could have been a credible alternative to Modi. But Gehlot refused to budge. Kharge, it appears, is being made President as a reward, not for roping in Gehlot, but for failing to do so. But failure should be punished- otherwise you lose credibility. It is likely that Congress will do badly in Gujarat. Next year, if Kharge fails to placate Shivakumar or backstairs intrigue tries to sabotage Siddaramaiah, then Bommai wins big. Kharge will have failed on his own turf. Like Kamaraj, his contribution to the Congress High Command will be to kill off, for all time, his party's chances in his own State. This won't be Kharge's fault. 

The fact is, only the ruling party at the Center has the ability to buy off fractious leaders within the State by rewarding them with plum jobs in Delhi in return for their letting the State be well governed by the Party's chosen CM. But Congress- for the foreseeable future- can only come back to the Center as a junior partner in a coalition. It won't have any plums to offer. Moreover, unlike in the Nineties, it won't be able to topple coalitions. Thus charismatic caste-based leaders are better off running their own outfits. They can do their own deals to get something at the Center if they fail to take the State. It remains to be seen whether the BJP can keep Karnataka and use the same tactics in Telengana etc. If it has a lock on the center- maybe. But Southern politicians are less and less anxious to go to the Center. Gowda, it appears, didn't want to be PM. He wanted to remain as CM of Karnataka. Jyoti Basu- denied the top job by his own politburo- twisted his arm. Basu argued that India had to have at least one 'secular' alternative to Vajpayee. Gowda should be Secularism's sacrificial lamb. Gowda would soon see that Basu was wrong. His own Party had refused to let Basu be PM because they wanted to keep West Bengal. Gowda lost Karnataka without gaining anything from being PM. Rather, he came to be seen as worthless as Gujral or Chandrashekhar- or, indeed, VP Singh. Congress pulled the rug from under Gowda's feet as it did to Chandrashekhar and Gujral. There was no 'secular' alternative to Vajpayee who, in any case, turned out to be perfectly secular. 

The existential question Congress must face is how be a Centralized Party when you have no power at the Center? Congress is no longer a credible coalition leader- perhaps even a partner- at the Center and it is losing States because of in-fighting. What is to prevent all its State units splintering on caste lines? One solution is to let go of Congress as a cadre based party- which it has tried but failed to be (its revenue keeps falling)- and turn into a 'parivar'- a family of parties. Stunts like 'bharat jodo' can be funded by the dynastic rump, so that the Congress President gets a seat at the table when 'United Fronts' are being soldered together. In other words, Congress can concentrate on P.R while an experienced President does deals with regional satraps in smoke filled rooms. 

If such is the way forward, what is wrong with Rahul parading around talking of 'ideology'? The answer is that this upsets potential partners. Rahul always makes things about himself and his family. But his family is poison.  According to him, nobody else has ever stood up to the RSS- in which case his family is responsible for its rise and rise.

Among the 'secular' politicians, according to Rahul, everybody but Sonia and himself is tainted because at some point or other they were in bed with the BJP. This could be seen as revenge for his father, Rajiv, who was brought down by a coalition of Right and Left. But this also means you can't trust Rahul's Congress. Suddenly he may remember what you did back in 1989 or 1997 or 2014. It should also be remembered that cousin Varun is with the BJP- where he is extremely unhappy. Can Varun come back to Congress as its CM candidate in UP? Would Sonia allow it? Or is the whole proposition nonsensical? After all, Varun and his Mum suffered when Rahul crashed and burned in 2019. It may be they never had any independent standing in politics. This seems unfair to Varun who has worked hard on getting a handle on the farmers' problems. Still, if people come to see a family as composed of imbeciles, even its smart members suffer. 

To be fair, Rahul isn't saying that the BJP or the RSS is breaking the country. It is the ideology of the BJP, and the RSS, which is doing so.  But, what is that ideology? One plank of it we are familiar with- opposition to dynastic rule. Yet Rahul himself is saying that Congress will have a new leader who is not dynastic nor is 'remote-controlled' by his family. If this means a pragmatic technocrat- which is how Modi pitched himself for the top job- takes over, then ideology is irrelevant. What is Kejriwal's ideology? Who knows? Who cares? Why could Congress not just have outsourced everything to Prashant Kishor?

The answer, I suppose, is that Congress would have lost its Gandhian spiritual glue. It would be in the business of fighting elections not claiming that sulking in a jail cell got Brigadier Dyer to stop shooting civilians and just fuck off back to Blighty. Congress would also not be anybody's personal property. In terms of Hindu law it would be 'asvamika svatva'. The problem here is that there is a presumption that such property is 'benami'- i.e. fraudulently held in trust for the obvious suspect. It is better that Party is openly dynastic, in which case there is a 'public signal' which promotes better correlated equilibria (e.g. all of us voting for Kejriwal not Rahul's favorite of the moment) whereas if nobody knows who actually owns Congress there is an added layer of opacity, a bigger 'signal-extraction' problem. Recall, the BJP began to benefit electorally precisely at the time when everybody was very loudly saying that it was 'remote controlled' by Nagpur. At this point, voters said to themselves- those Nagpur types are perfectly decent. They don't want the country to become a yet stinkier shithole. Let them remote control what they like. Things could scarcely get worse. But things did get worse. Suddenly Manmohan was babbling about Muslims getting first dibs on any good thing going and, because some Muslim male terrorists were being locked up, Secularism demanded that innocent Hindu women also go to jail under UAPA. 

There is no Muslim appeasement in India. There are crazy people who would like to do to innocent Hindus whatever is being done to prima facie guilty Muslims. Since the vast majority are Hindu, those crazy people- or even Digvijay Singh- can't get elected rat-catcher anywhere. 

Rahul, however did get elected- in Kerala.  Let us see if he can keep that seat on the basis of his good looks and charm alone. After all, he himself has admitted he can't lead shit. 

 After the 2019 election results, Rajiv resigned as President of Congress. He has reiterated his resolve to stick by what he wrote then-

"As president of the Congress party, I am responsible for the loss of the 2019 election.

Rahul did not inspire confidence as a replacement for Modi. Congress needed to project an alternative leader for the nation. It didn't do so in 2014 and Rahul could not cut the mustard in 2019. Since then its internal problems have increased. In Punjab a sitting CM was pulled down by intrigue and his replacement lost badly to Kejriwal's insurgents. Rajasthan appeared likely to go down the same road but Gehlot, and common sense, prevailed. Meanwhile, Kejriwal looks poised to take votes from Congress in Gujarat.  

Accountability is critical for the future growth of our party.

But if accountability means getting rid of sitting Chief Ministers because of the grumbling of their rivals then accountability is the opposite of good governance.  

It is for this reason that I have resigned as Congress president.

So Mummy gets stuck with the job.  

"Rebuilding the party requires hard decisions and numerous people will have to be made accountable for the failure of 2019.

Why? What is the point of pointing fingers and playing the blame game? Congress needed to market attractive leaders to the voters. The only sort of accounting it should have interested itself in was in terms of maximizing the number of votes gained in terms of time and money spent canvassing different sections of the electorate.

It would be unjust to hold others accountable but ignore my own responsibility as president of the party," Rahul Gandhi said in the statement.

The raison d'etre of Congress was to keep the dynasty in power, in return for which there was a distribution of the spoils of office. If the heir didn't want to be PM, an obedient technocrat could be given that job.  Rahul could neither do the job nor would appoint anyone else to do it for him. He has left it to Congress to choose its own leader. But it is a collection of slaves. If the King says 'I won't be King. Let my butlers and footmen choose a different King from among their own number.' he would be laughed at. Even if butlers vote for whichever one of them is most regal, nobody else will treat the fellow as a royal. The Sultan might order his eunuchs to vote for which of them should sire his heir. But eunuchs are incapable of doing any such thing which is precisely the reason they were brought in to serve in the Zenana. 

"Many of my colleagues suggested that I nominate the next Congress president.

This was perfectly reasonable. Rahul might not be willing or able to do the top job but, properly advised, he might choose a good candidate and use his influence behind the scenes to make sure that candidate appears in control and is able to deliver whatever it is the voters want.  

While it is important for someone new to lead our party, it would not be correct for me to select that person.

But Mummy selected Narasimha Rao and Manmohan. Why shouldn't sonny boy do the same thing? Voters would understand that the new President of Congress was the person who would become Prime Minister if Modi lost the next election.  If, like Gehlot, the guy was or had been a CM, he could say 'I did a better job on this issue than you are doing.' The thing might not be true but it drums home the message that it isn't just Modi who can get things done. He is a good PM because he learned how to be a good CM. A good CM might do as well as him if he got the chance. 

Ours is a party with a profound history and heritage, one of struggle and dignity

not since 1969. It was a party of sycophants and intriguers. But even previously, it was a party of sulking in jail rather than struggling. 

that I deeply respect. It is woven into the fabric of India

just like the RSS. Lots of people were imprisoned, some were hanged, during the Freedom Struggle. Only Congressmen queued up meekly to go to jail. None were hanged. 

and I trust the party will make the best decision regarding who can lead us with courage, love and fidelity.

The RSS wanted Advani not Vajpayee but Advani knew only Vajpayee was electable. In 2014, Modi not Advani got the ticket- but only because Rahul was gun-shy.  

It has frequently happened that party members, voting for a new leader, make a terrible choice. In the UK, Labor party members chose Jeremy Corbyn twice. The result was that the Red Wall collapsed. The Tories are no better off. Truss has managed the impossible- viz. being worse than Boris. There really must be a better way to do things. It is one thing to have elections to decide between comparable, credible, candidates. It is another to have partisan elections for who will stand in elections because this amounts to indirect democracy. A Dictator can manage indirect democracy better or, more typically, manufacture the thing after the fact.

"Immediately after resigning, I suggested to my colleagues in the Congress Working Committee CWC) that the way forward would be to entrust a group of people with the task of beginning the search for a new president.

Why not appoint an interim President to do that job? He could consult who he liked.  

I have empowered them to do so and committed my full support to this process and a smooth transition," Rahul Gandhi said in the statement.

Three years later, we have to admit that this 'search' was utterly futile. The party is stuck with an ailing 75 year old Italian lady who will hand power to either an 80 year old who lost his seat or else to an ambitious younger man who, in 1989, described Congress as the 'Kaurava' party (i.e. the bad guys in an ancient Indian epic). It is hilarious that Rahul thought a 'smooth transition' was possible. The Lion would abdicate and the new King of the Jungle would be chosen by jackals from among their own number. 

"My fight has never been a simple battle for political power.

His fight was to avoid political power and responsibility. He had a good excuse. The 'Bharat Jodo' walk demonstrates that, unlike what happened with Granny or Daddy, nobody wants to kill him.

I have no hatred or anger towards the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) but every living cell in my body instinctively resists their idea of India.

But every decision Rahul made showed that the BJP alone had an idea of India which wasn't utterly puerile. The fact is India is India because it is overwhelmingly Hindu. Pakistan is Pakistan because it is Muslim. Bangladesh is Bangladesh because Hindus ran away from it. Sri Lanka is Sri Lanka because it is Buddhist majority. The same is true of Myanmar. Prior to 1937 all of these (save Ceylon) were part of British India. People were free to move and settle where they liked across this vast territory. Then with the advent of party politics, the idea of India changed. It would be defined by religion. Some thought it could be Communist or Socialist. Sadly Communism and Socialism turned out to be utterly shit- save in Kerala where people are prepared to ignore ideology to do sensible things. 

This resistance arises because my being is permeated with an Indian idea

but Rahul's education wasn't particularly Indian- was it? Moreover, academic ideas aren't the same thing as the ideas that animate actual politics. Rahul could have fought his first election in 1995. He chose to remain outside India. He was 34 years old- Bilawal Bhutto's age now- when he fought his first election. But he wouldn't join the Cabinet. He wouldn't organize the Commonwealth games. He would throw a tantrum and undercut the PM but he wouldn't step up to the plate in 2013 and lead his party into the 2014 elections as the sitting PM of the country. He is certain to have won had he done so provided he had taken the Sanjay Gandhi approach- viz. make speeches which last 2 minutes before jumping into a helicopter and departing.  Power has its own mystique and even a cretin can pretend to have power. 

that is and has always been in direct conflict with theirs. This is not a new battle; it has been waged on our soil for thousands of years.

But Tharoor identifies Congress with the Kauravas. Nehru was the blind King who promoted his evil spawn. Indira was the ultimate villain. Rahul himself has decided not to get married just like Vajpayee, Modi, Adityanath ... But then he, more than anyone in the BJP, is responsible for the decline and fall of his own dynasty's influence in Indian politics. 

Where they see differences, I see similarity.

But Rahul refused to get married. He became similar to Modi.  

Where they see hatred, I see love.

But Rahul appears utterly unhinged by his hatred of the RSS. True, it is a mainly Hindu organization but Hindus can't be considered the enemy in an overwhelmingly Hindu country. By contrast, Rahul's DNA is only one quarter Indian. It looks odd for him to claim that the real battle in India is between what is indigenous- which is evil- and what is mainly foreign and which the people already rejected as evil. 

What they fear, I embrace.

Rahul did go and hug Modi. He looked a fool. Modi hugs foreign dignitaries but that is a well calculated move to establish himself on the global stage as an avuncular figure whose deepest concerns are related to climate change and the peaceful resolution of conflicts between nations. 

"This compassionate idea permeates the hearts of millions and millions of my beloved fellow citizens. It is this idea of India that we will now vehemently defend.

You can either be compassionate or you can be vehement. You can't be both. As for any given 'idea of India', either people like it or find it useful, or they think it is silly and not worth bothering about. There is little point vehemently defending nonsense. Why not say 'hugging is nice. I like hugging. Modi wants to ban hugging. This is against 'Idea of India' based on cuddling and kissing. My family always giving me cuddles and kisses. Modi has banned even my Mummy from coming and giving me nice hug or kiss. I vehemently defend right of Indians to get cuddles and kisses from all and sundry.'  

"The attack on our country and our cherished Constitution that is taking place is designed to destroy the fabric of our nation.

But why would the guys running the country want to destroy its fabric? If they do so, they will be naked. People would make fun of their puny genitals. Modi gains if the country gets stronger. The Constitution grants him a lot of executive power. He cherishes it greatly. Indeed, it turned out the Bench- which we all thought utterly mad and useless- could help him by saying J&K had no shred of sovereignty in 2016 and then help him again to build the Ram Temple. The truth is the Indian Constitution is unitary. It increases the power of the PMO. 

In no way, shape or form am I stepping back from this fight.

Where is the fight? Rahul gave hug to Modi. Did Modi bite him? No. It turns out that there is no law against hugging and kissing. Biting people, however, is wrong. Kargeji may kindly instruct Tharoor Sahib on this point of etiquette.  

I am a loyal soldier of the Congress party

which is why it is losing 

and a devoted son of India

Rahul is the son of Sonia. Is he devoted to her? Was it right for him to make her shoulder the burden of the Congress Presidency? Is that the behavior of a 50 year old man? Sonia has been in poor health.  

and will continue to serve and protect her till my last breath,"

What service has he performed? What protection has he offered? He could at least have relieved his mother of the headache of running the party. Perhaps he did so to the extent he was able. But her headaches grew worse. The party she had shepherded to two General Election victories has become unelectable.  

"We fought a strong and dignified election.

It was not 'dignified' to say 'chaukidar chor hai'- the watchman is a thief- in a country where the vast majority of people are glad to get employment as a watchman to the rich though the rich abuse them and accuse them of theft. People suddenly remembered that Modi belonged to their own socio-economic class. He didn't grow up with butlers and footmen and chaukidars at his beck and call.

Our campaign was one of brotherhood, tolerance and respect for all of India's people, religions and communities.

No. It was 'Modi hatao'- remove Modi- and it failed for the same reason that 'Indira hatao' failed. Modi can rule the country. No other credible candidate was on offer. Indira benefitted from the same lack of a charismatic rival. What Congress does not have is a JP type 'Saintly' politician who can attack Modi from the moral high-ground. It may be that Rahul sees himself as evolving into just such a figure. But JP had been very useful to the Government of India in negotiating settlements of internal issues as well as in carrying their message to their friends abroad. Rahul has been a washout. Obama, who is only 8 years older than Rahul, describes him in terms one might use for a college kid with no experience of the real world.  

I personally fought the prime minister, the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) and the institutions they have captured with all my being.

But the sum total of Rahul's being is still zero.  

I fought because I love India.

But if that fighting was useless and counterproductive, maybe that love was useless or delusional.  

And I fought to defend the ideals India was built upon.

In a country where the vast majority are Hindu- those ideals must be Hindu.  

"At times, I stood completely alone and am extremely proud of it.

When did Rahul stand alone? Was it when Mummy said 'don't hug Modi. He will bite you and I will be unable to do anything because Constitution has been amended to forbid Mummies coming and protecting their sons from the slavering fangs of RSS pracharaks?' No. Priyanka gave her brother nice hug and whispered in his ear- 'Don't mind what Mummy said. If Modi tries to bite you, I will beat him with my chappal.'  

I have learned so much from the spirit and dedication of our workers and party members, men and women who have taught me about love and decency," Rahul Gandhi said in the statement.

If hanging out with Congress Party members can teach you 'love and decency', then you have had a horrible upbringing.  

"A free and fair election requires the neutrality of a country's institutions; an election cannot be fair without arbiters - a free press, an independent judiciary, and a transparent election commission that is objective and neutral. Nor can an election be free if one party has a complete monopoly on financial resources.

These conditions obtained in India. The problem with a free and fair election is that nitwits don't always get votes- if they go up against a smart and competent leader. Money flows to those who can use it wisely. It dries up if you piss it against the wall.  

"We didn't fight a political party in the 2019 election.

 No wonder Congress lost. 

Rather, we fought the entire machinery of the Indian state,

but the entire machinery of the Indian state failed to notice that this was happening. 

every institution of which was marshalled against the opposition.

Indian State was constantly trying to prevent Rahulji getting hugs and kisses. Sad. 

It is now crystal clear that our once cherished institutional neutrality no longer exists in India,

Because I lost even though Mummy said it would be okay if I won. Why Institutions are not listening to my Mummy? I listen to her. Should not Election Commission do the same? What type of neutrality is it when only I am listening to Mummy when she says 'Darling, you will be very nice Prime Minister- if that's what you want to be. Otherwise why not take a job with Cousin Giancarlo delivering pizzas? ' 

"The stated objectives of the RSS, the capture of our country's institutional structure, is now complete.

Why? Because too many Indians are Hindus. They should have some shame. Why not be at least half Italian? How can you say India- which has often been ruled by foreigners- is remaining faithful to its ideal if the Prime Minister is not even one-quarter European? Is this the 'idea of India' which Mummy and Daddy and Granny fought so hard for?  

Our democracy has been fundamentally weakened.

Because Mummy is not appointing Prime Ministerji. Also she is hinting I should get a job with Cousin Giancarlo delivering Pizzas.  

There is a real danger that from now on, elections will go from being a determinant of India's future to a mere ritual,"

Why Election Commissioner was not coming to ask Mummy who should win election? This is blatant violation of essence of Indian democracy!  

"This capture of power will result in unimaginable levels of violence and pain for India.

Because Modi banned hugging. Everybody should hug everybody.  

Farmers, unemployed youngsters, women, tribals, Dalits and minorities are going to suffer the most.

Due to lack of hugs. 

"The impact on our economy and nation's reputation will be devastating.

Cats will start sodomizing dogs. That's what happens when you stupid dehatis vote for the wrong party. I warned you this would happen.  

The prime minister's win does not negate the breadth of corruption allegations against him; no amount of money and propaganda can ever hide the light of the truth,

But Congress spent money publicizing Rahul's idiotic slogans. What it needed to do was present a credible alternative Prime Ministerial candidate not a 50 year old adolescent who can't even decide whether or not to grow a beard.  

"The Indian nation must unite to reclaim and resuscitate our institutions.

So, the germ of 'Bharat Jodo Yatra' has to do with a 'long march' through the institutions.  Which ones? The Judiciary? The Civil Service? The Army? 

The instrument of this resuscitation will be the Congress party.

So, first resuscitate Congress and then it will resuscitate institutions and then the institutions will resuscitate the country. The problem here is that a political party which can't get votes because it can't offer leadership also can't be resuscitated unless it gets a good leader. So, what Rahul is really saying is 'Congress needs a good leader'. But since Congress is shit, it can't pick a good leader.  It lacks leaderhip skills for the task of collectively picking a leader. So the Party is fucked. The people are moving away from it. Other parties, not just the BJP, benefit.  How is the leaderless Congress going to suddenly gain a good leader? Rahul's answer is to go for a long walk. 

"To achieve this important task, the Congress party must radically transform itself.

But transformation won't help if it can't provide a good leader.  

Today, the BJP is systematically crushing the voice of the Indian people.

No. A successful leader echoes those voices which the whole country can get behind.  Modi does this quite well though, when he gets the timing wrong, he has to apologize and backtrack. Congress isn't even bothering to identify worthwhile voices to echo. It just babbles any old paranoid shite. 

It is the duty of the Congress party to defend these voices.

So, Congress must become the party which hears voices. It must get very very angry with anyone who says 'those voices exist only in your own head'.  

India has never and will never be one voice.

Not for Hindus for whom Shruti is Voice and is Univocal. But Muslims and Christians have a similar conception of their Revealed Scripture. 

India has and will always have, so long as it remains sovereign, a single, unambiguous, voice on all justiciable matters. This is protocol bound and 'buck-stopped'. 

It is a different matter that there may be many shades of opinion or many different suggestions as to what position the country should take. But there is a legal process by which, at the end of the day, there is always a 'bright line' distinction between what the country has said and what has remained unclear.  

It is and always will be a symphony of voices.

In which case, voices are subject to very strict rules and laborious training. They are not autonomous.  

That is the true essence of Bharat Mata,

No. A mother has only one voice. Sometimes, Aunties may join her in a harmonic exercise. But their voices are separate. 

The true essence of 'Bharat Mata' is that she is cherished by people belonging to Bharat- that is India. The fact that she has only one throat and only one tongue and only one voice is not considered a defect. By contrast, the demon King Ravana had ten heads and ten different voices.  

"Thank you to the thousands of Indians, both at home and abroad, who have sent me letters and messages of support. I will, of course, continue to fight for the ideals of the Congress party with all my strength.

Five years more of such fighting on Rahul's part will finish off the party for good.  

"I am available to the party whenever they require my services, input or advice.

Also I will give you hugs provided you don't bite me.  

To those who support the Congress ideology, especially our dedicated and beloved karyakarta, I have absolute faith in our future and the utmost love for you.

The sad thing was that many Congress supporters were still clinging to the hope that Rahul would grow up and begin acting like an adult.  

It is a habit in India that the powerful cling to power,

because if you are totally powerless and yet are clinging to power, folks laugh at you.  That is the main reason I gave up my claim to be the Emperor of Brazil.

no one sacrifices power.

But they do get assassinated.  

But we will not defeat our opponents without sacrificing the desire for power and fighting a deeper ideological battle.

Congress Party members should vote for the Communists or the PFI or any other party which is against the BJP. I suppose that is what will happen in Gujarat as it happened in Punjab.  

I was born a Congressman,

he was born a Congress baby. Sadly that is what he will remain- a Congress cry-baby. 

this party has always been with me and is my life's blood and forever that way it shall remain.

But, the party must do without me. Otherwise someone might want to spill my life's blood the way they did Granny's and Daddy's. So, let Mummy take over my job till you fellows find some nice leader for yourselves.  

There is a theory that Rahul was greatly influenced by hearing his father's 1985 centenary speech which ended with a call to build a new India. 

What are the essentials of the Build India Movements?

Actually building stuff then selling it for a profit and building more stuff. 

The country needs a politics of service to the poor.

It had plenty of that. That shit failed. Poor people might want want money. They might want even allow you to serve them a nice meal. Fuck would they want a politics of service for?  

The country needs a politics based on ideology and programmes.

Why? Can you eat ideology? Fuck is the point of having lots of programs if you don't have a pot to piss in?  

To bring this about, we must break the nexus between political parties and vested interests.

Stop taking money from people. If you aren't actually sucking them off, chances are they want a political favor from you.  

We will change the electoral laws to ensure cleaner elections.

This was the anti-defection Law. But Rajiv forced out 'Mr. Clean' V.P Singh who resigned and was reelected as part of a Janata Morcha. He went on to head a brief and disastrous 'National Front' government. Rajiv had managed to unite Left and Right against himself. Then he was killed because, it turned out, he'd also pissed off the Tamil Tigers.  

We will make political parties accountable for the funds they receive.

But politicians, or their bag-men, were not made accountable for the funds they stole 

We will wage an ideological war against those who exploit the poor in the name of caste and religion.

So, not an actual war then.  

The Congress, the custodian of the national will and the sentinel of India's freedom and unity, will be reorganised and revitalised. It will gather in its fold patriots of all sections and all communities. It will be the shield of the oppressed and the sword of the poor.

This is the crux of the matter. Rajiv had a huge majority. He was wildly popular. Why was there no 'reorganization' or 'revitalization'? How come Rajiv's chums like Arun Nehru and VP Singh and Arif Mohammad Khan deserted him? 

The answer was that Rajiv did not have the courage of his own convictions. He knew the Planning Commission was a bunch of jokers. He understood that scrapping the license permit Raj would unleash growth. But he wouldn't do it. 

As we look back on what we have achieved, one thought keeps coming back to mind. How must faster we would have developed had we succeeded in restricting the growth of our population.

This could only be done by getting rural girls into giant factory dormitories. Scrapping labor regulations and muzzling Trade Unions would do the trick.  

Progress would have been greater not in material terms alone, but in the quality of human life. That makes the family planning programme so crucial to our future development.

If you can't work and earn, you might as well have babies.  

We need a better strategy to achieve the national goal of a stable population, healthier and better educated.

There was only one such strategy. Get the girls into factory dormitories. Let the boys do construction or security (i.e. beat Trade Unionists) unless they were supine migrants in which case they too could work in factories.  

The time has come to infuse new life into the struggle against poverty.

Which is won by letting some grow rich while the rest become more productive and have some money in the bank instead of yet more babies. 

Our anti-poverty programmes, notably the 20 Point Programme, have to come out of the grip of bureaucratic sloth and inefficiency. They have to become people's programmes.

Would Rajiv pay the people to implement that shite? No? Then fuck the 20 point program.  

All the elements - education, health and nutrition, family planning, land reforms and cooperatives, communications, agriculture, animal husbandry, industrial and rural crafts - all have to come together in an integrated programme to wipe out the age - old curse of poverty.

Poverty is only created by very poor people having babies they can neither educate nor otherwise provide for. Talking bollocks about rural crafts won't help bring about demographic transition.  

The power to shape their own lives must lie with the people, not with bureaucrats and experts.

or airline pilots whose Mummies happened to be Prime Minister.  

Experts must help the people. Vibrant village panchayats must discuss, deliberate and decide the choices to be made.

The choice is to be very very fucking poor or to be very very fucking poor while listening to bollocks about the 20 point programs. There can be no very vibrant debate about it.  

This is a challenge to the Congress cadres.

How to stop villagers running away when you try to lecture them about the 20 point program.  

It is up to us, the workers of this great organisation, spread in every village and every hamlet of India, to mobilise the people, to guide them, to stand by their side when they are denied their due, to fight for them and to see that resources are properly utilized, not frittered away on unproductive projects.

Like standing by the side of people who are denied their due by clouds which refuse to disgorge rain in a timely manner.  

This will keep our organisation in touch with the masses and will help us to become the true vehicle of change in rural India.

How come other countries industrialized and rose up economically without any of this palaver? The answer, I suppose, is that the Congress is a very special party.  

Our life styles must change, Vulgar, Conspicuous consumption must go. Simplicity, efficiency and commitment to national goals hold the key to self-reliance. The Congress Ministers, Members of Parliament, Members of State Assemblies, party functionaries and leaders at all levels must set the example. Millions of people will follow them. Austerity and swadeshi will galvanise the masses to grow more, to produce more and to serve more.

Above all, we need to create a mass movement for strengthening India's unity and integrity, for deepening our Indian ness. The Congress, which won freedom for India, the Congress, which has brought India to the threshold of greatness, is pre-eminently the party of India's resurgent nationalism. Our nationalism is based on our rich diversity of cultures, languages and religions. The Congress represents the multi-faceted splendour of India.

Today, communal, casteist and regional forces, sustained by external elements, are undermining our unity.

We have to be on our guard. We have to carry the message of nationalism and unity to all. We have to overcome divisive forces. Let the saga of our freedom struggle be our inspiration. Let thousands and thousands of Congress workers fan out into every village, every urban centre to revive the traditions of our glorious struggle for freedom in which, all differences were transcended. We shall persuade. We shall educate. We shall bind people together. But let the divisive forces understand quite clearly that the Congress, with the strength of the masses behind it, will crush with all its might the designs of anti-national elements.

If you do stupid shit, some yet more stupid person may shoot you or blow you up. Why did Rajiv give this terrible speech? He knew it was pure crap. I suppose he was getting rich. Pecunia non olet. VP Singh didn't get rich. His son couldn't even get into a Parliament. There is a message here which, as the Mahatma was wont to say, all who run can read. 

To conclude, Congress had a bogus Nehruvian ideology- which consisted off offering your bum to China because it was Communist but saying sarky things about Fascists in khaki knickers precisely because they were no threat unless you decided to jail all your opponents. Congress also had a bogus Gandhian glue- which consisted of talking bollocks about Lurve & Peas and its own tremendous sacrifices, which involved sulking not struggling- but that was okay because Gandhi did understand money. The power of Ahimsa is the power of Money. It enables you to get what you want without violence. Bribery is the true Satyagraha. It converts the hearts of your adversaries. The alternative is sulking in jail till British Nanny relents.

What does Congress have now? Nothing. Either Rahul ends his long walk by saying 'I'm becoming a Sadhu' in which case, the dynasty makes a graceful exit from Indian history, or else he goes back to cursing Modi. Meanwhile Kharge gets the blame for losing Gujarat and Karnataka. In 2024 Modi gets back in but Congress has disappeared because Gehlot type provincial leaders have created their own caste based outfits and are doing their own deals with Adanis and negotiating for Rajya Sabha seats etc among themselves. In that scenario, what is the legacy of the dynasty? The answer is that they will be seen as having produced one cretin- Nehru- one courageous woman- Indira- and then one corrupt piece of shite who set the pattern for other dynasts. Modi and the RSS will be vindicated- but so may Kejriwal. Meanwhile, young people may start creating their own new insurgent movements. Alternatively, they may simply become disenchanted with politics. Voting will be transactional and on the basis of deliverables. Meanwhile, a more independent ED or CBI may gain popular support. More and more Ministers will find that a Cabinet post is a revolving door to jail. Mahatma Gandhi will be delighted that the habit of incarceration which he instilled in his disciples will be kept up by future generations of Indian politicians.