Alok Rai's sass, style & Swayze sasural

Alok Rai is a pedagogue by profession. Did he edify his students? Have they gone on to do great things? I don't know for certain. But, to my best knowledge, nobody has put forward any such claim.

Let us now look at the disgusting spectacle at this pedant trying to edify the readers of the Indian Express-

It is not an edifying spectacle, seeing the great and the good floundering like this, falling over themselves, then over each other, lying desperately to try and salvage something from the train wreck of the Citizenship Amendment Act-National Register of Citizens.

Where is the floundering? The C.A.A will be enacted. So may the National Register. The people making a fuss over it are doing so on the basis of stupid lies. But as time marches on, everybody will see that this was all a storm in a teacup. No doubt, the North East will remain a tinder-box of ethnic tension. But why should the rest of India worry about that? The big lie being currently touted is that the BJP plans to ethnically cleanse Muslims. But, this lie has been constantly repeated for three decades. Nobody believes it. Wealthy Muslims are not selling their property and moving to a safe haven. Those students who are protesting now will be desperately seeking for employment or housing or promotion by the time General Elections come around. All that has happened is that the Left-Liberals have once again shot themselves in the foot and helped consolidate the Hindu vote.

In a sense, the RSS has been perfecting its techniques of lie and rumour, innuendo and doublespeak, for a whole century.

The RSS was created in imitation of, and as a weak sister to, the Congress Seva Dal. Congress perfected the techniques of mendacity and greatly enriched its various dynasties. But the Communists did the same. The reason the BJP is ruling is because of the perception that the RSS is not corrupt. That's it. That's the whole story.

So, Mohan Bhagwat now assures us, all 130 crore of us, including the lynched and the lynchable, are Hindus, provided we match Mr Bhagwat’s standard of being “true sons of India”

as opposed to what? 'false daughters of America?'

— thanks, I say, but no thanks!

Why? Does Alok Rai want to put on a blonde wig and pretend to be a daughter of the American Revolution? Good luck to him, if that is the case. Being a dark skinned Madrasi, all I can hope for is to be mistaken for Beyonce.

And, for all one knows, underlying the dogged and insidious pursuit of “Hindu Rashtra”, there is the millennia-old Brahminical tradition of the Hindu-savarna maintaining their social tyranny through a combination of violence and lies and, crucially, hypocrisy.

Yes, yes. We know Narendra Modi and Amit Shah are secret Brahmans. Kayasthas, on the other hand, were not money grubbing scoundrels. They were actually Dalits! Evil Brahmans conspired to push 'Forward Class' Status on those poor illiterate night soil carriers.

It is appropriate, therefore, that though there have been protests and demonstrations across the country, the greatest amount of police brutality and violence has been concentrated in UP — not only because the head of the state government is a saffron-clad “yogi”, but also because it is here that there is the highest concentration of the Hindu upper-castes.

But the Yogi is not a Brahman. Rahul Gandhi says he is a Brahman. Incidentally, Kayasthas count as upper-caste and are disproportionately represented in the U.P governing class.
Where are the Hindi speaking Brahmans in Modi's Cabinet? I can only find one. There are two Tambrams- but those are meritocratic, not caste based appointments.

It is here that one can expect them to make their last stand.

 Last stand? Surely that would have to be in Modi's native Gujarat? In Maharashtra, it is true, the Shiv Sena, not the BJP rules. But that is because Congress is supporting that Fascist, albeit dynastic, outfit.

All the institutions of the state stand infiltrated, and the India imagined in the Constitution — of equality and social justice, of rights and the rule of law — might as well be on another planet.

But not that other planet where Alok Rai has long resided. Otherwise it would knock on his door in the middle of the night and say 'Please, Alokji, save me from ceaseless infiltration. I am so sore, I can't sit down!' Alokji would then be forced to conjure up the ghost of Patrick Swayze so that it can do some dirty dancing and thus distract infiltrators of the Indian Constitution.

We have all seen the heartbreaking visuals of the police brutality from Jamia and Aligarh, from Muzaffarnagar and Kanpur and Meerut, 20 dead and still counting. (More killed, incidentally, than in the entire Hong Kong agitation.)

But less were killed than in the Yellow Vest agitation in France. The difference here is that the agitators in Hong Kong and France are fighting for something genuinely valuable to themselves. By contrast the CAA agitation- save in the North East- is wholly gesture political.

But tragic as this is, it is not surprising. It is a direct consequence of the fact that now, finally, even in the eyes of young who might once have been deluded by the dreams of development, the conmen stand exposed.

Very true. The Left has collapsed. Congress has never been so weak and divided. Con-men have indeed been exposed.

The young now realise that far from waking into some shining “New India”, they are being led into a guaranteed disaster, comparable to that which was brought upon Germany by the Nazi pursuit of an exclusivist “Aryan” nationalism.

I was born in Germany. My nanny had been in the Hitler Youth. What is the truth about Germany under Hitler? The answer, I am sorry to say, was that things improved. Remember Kristalnacht? What triggered it? A Polish Jew was protesting deportation of Polish Jews. His method was to kill a German diplomat. Hitler then found that anti-semitism was extremely popular. The 'United Front' strategy collapsed for one simple reason. Most French and Polish people approved of violent action against the Jews. Stalin gladly made peace with Hitler. Bose gladly came to Germany to pay court to the Fuhrer. In India Govind Vallabh Pant had said 'Gandhi is our Il Duce. He is our Fuhrer.' In other words, Hitler and Mussolini and Franco and so forth were considered better than either the Social Democratic or the Communist alternative. People from Poland were trying to emigrate to Germany, not the other way round.

What happened next? Hitler and Mussolini thought they could conquer their neighbors. Which country in South Asia has started wars in the belief that it would prevail militarily? Pakistan- of which it is said that it not a country with an army but an army with a country.

Look at what happened to General Franco. He didn't invade any other country. After the war, he stopped talking about gobbling up Portugal. So the Americans left him alone. Spain began to thrive. Within 4 years of Franco's death, the PSOE abandoned Marxism. The Labor party waited another 15 years before abandoning the Marxist aim of the collective ownership of the means of production. Only then did it become electable.

After all, it is the young who will inherit that poisoned and devastated country, and not ageing “urban Naxals”. But I see no reason to dawdle here, amid helmeted policemen armed with sticks and guns, beating helpless people, amid the haunting sound of mothers and fathers grieving over the broken bodies of their children. Except, en passant, to ask: Where, and how, do they produce such monsters? I suggest that the daily inoculation with lies and violence has, over a period of years, produced a race of android “New Indians” who are immunised against empathy and imagination.

Alok Rai showed great courage in battling against the Emergency and protesting the Nellie massacre and the anti-Sikh pogroms. Sadly, he did this on the distant planet where he lives so we were not able to witness his tremendous achievements. Still, he is very well informed about India. In other countries, people own Android phones. In India, the phones own the people! Hai! Hai! Ghost of Patrick Swayze, please save us from these 'Terminator' machines sent from the future!

But beyond this matter of lies and violence, I wish to explore the connection between violence and language.

This is easily done. Look at all cases of violence. Then apply a filter so as to distinguish those cases of violence which were prompted by something purely linguistic. What will you get? The empty set. Why? Violence is costly. Words, much less so. Anyone can use violent language. But if it poses no threat to anyone it has no consequences whatsoever.

The horrors of the 20th century prompted much reflection on this matter.

But that reflection proved to be wholly worthless.

The classic text is George Steiner’s exploration of what the violence of the Nazi experience had meant for the German language — Language and Silence: “Everything forgets. But not language. When it has been injected with falsehood, only the most drastic truth can cleanse it…Words that are saturated with lies or atrocity do not easily resume life.”

Steiner was a vain and stupid man. When he started babbling this shite some people still thought that Nazism could rise again in Germany. Furthermore, there was an absurd availability cascade about how 'Language thinks us'. If we could discover the 'i-language' then we would have a perfect machine for social control. Fortunately, evolution works in such a way that no 'i-language' of a Chomskian sort can exist. Talking Chomskian shite is a waste of time. Contra Ricouer, words don't dream. Macron found this out the hard way. Now the French are thinking of dropping Philosophy as part of their High School exams. The thing makes you stupider than you need be. Semiotics and Literary theory turned out to be mental masturbation. It didn't help bring about Social Justice. It was a stupid Ponzi scheme which crashed long ago. Having a PhD in Gramscian Grammatology is another way of saying you are a barrista or are living in your parent's basement.

One last quotation must suffice before I turn to our own experience of atrocity and language: “Languages have great reserves of life. They can absorb masses of hysteria, illiteracy and cheapness… But there comes a breaking point. Use a language to conceive, organise and justify Belsen, use it to dehumanise man… Something will happen to it. Something of the lies and the sadism will settle in the marrow of the language. Imperceptibly at first, like the poisons of radiation sifting silently into the bone. But the cancer will begin, and the deep-set destruction…”

If Steiner was right then German academics were worthless. Habermas and Adorno and so forth should have been told, quietly but firmly, to keep their mouths shut. Heidegger should have been removed from the curriculum. But nothing of the sort happened. German shitheads were just as good, or bad, as Steiner type shitheads.

Languages don't matter in the least. Back in the Fifties, there was a theory that if your mother-tongue was Chinese then you'd be no good at theoretical Physics or Pure Maths.  Now, the opposite myth holds. The plain fact of the matter is that you can talk worthless shite in any language. People like Rai are useless. Compare him to Jack Ma. Rai knew better English- he had studied it at Oxford. But Ma started teaching English to Chinese people who wanted to do business with the West. That's how he got his start. He then went on to found an E-commerce site which helped transform even the rural economy of China. Meanwhile all our worthless Professors of English talked worthless shite. Indian students either learned good-enough English at school, and thus became employable, or else they could get a PhD in English Literature without being able to speak the language at all. They then got Lecturer-ships in English at Engineering Colleges and so forth. But an engineer who can't speak English is unemployable. It doesn't matter if he obediently copied down in his notebook 'Derrida deconstruction the laltain of the Toba Tek Singh of the Upar di gur gur di annexe di bedhiyana di moong di daal of di Pakistan and Hindustan of di durr phitey mun.' No doubt, properly considered, this assertion is as valuable as any to be found in Spivak or Bhabha or even, runt of that litter, Alok Rai. Still, it has not helped India in anyway.

The lynchmobs forced Tabrez Ansari to utter “Jai Shri Ram” even as they were beating him to death.

I am sorry to inform Prof. Rai that most people think it a very bad thing to be beaten to death just because someone claims you stole a bicycle. By contrast, they don't greatly care about having to utter 'Hum dekhenge' or anything else.  Why is this? Most people lose earning power and utility by having had their heads kicked in. To Rai it may make no difference. But Rai's profession is very special in that respect. It is a type of special education doled out by people whose own educational needs were very special indeed.

Ironically, now and forever, “Jai Shri Ram” will remain linked with the battered corpse of what was once a man.

No it won't. It will remain linked to the Vaishanva creed.

Our language is tainted and crippled by being pressed into the service of inhumanity.

Then shut the fuck up you stupid cretin! Why did you go to England to study English literature? Were you not aware that the English language was used under the British Raj? Did your ancestors consider British rule a great blessing?

Confronted with the vapid chatter around the pain and suffering that is on offer nightly, the garrulous inadequacy of TV panelists in the presence of everyday horror, one is tempted to repeat Wittgenstein’s stern aphorism: Whereof we cannot speak, thereof we must be silent.

Why are you not silent? Not only were you tempted, you gave in to the temptation to quote the early Witlesstein. What language game are you playing, you worthless imbecile? 

But there is another thought that arises in the current context of the explosion of protest, the nationwide affirmation by the young that they will not accept the bitter and divided nation that is the outcome of the CAA-NRC process.

Nationwide? Hardly. The thing has already run out of steam. Young people don't care about this issue because it has no bearing whatsoever upon their own life-chances.

Rejecting Wittgenstein’s philosophical modesty, in the face of that about which we are commanded not to speak, we must shout and sing, we must mock and ridicule, lavish the authors of the violence and the repression with contempt.

Wittlestein believed at one time that 'atomic propositions' exist. Then he found out they didn't. He had been talking nonsense. The poor fool thought he understood the foundations of Mathematics! So did Husserl. History has proven them wrong. Sad, but there it is.

And it is truly a miracle that in response to official brutality, there has been an explosion of wit and poetry, of humour and creativity, all the way from posters to YouTube videos. Pitted against louts chanting “goli maaro saalon ko”, they are making jokes — “Hindu-Muslim raazi, to kya karega Naazi”.

But we know that both Hindus and Muslims joined the Waffen S.S under the direction of Bose and Nambiar. They may have been 'raazi' alright, but what did the Nazi do for them? True, they got lots of beer and the chance to rape French women, but then the French Resistance hunted them down and killed them unless they had managed to find a nice British officer to surrender to. It is interesting to note that two of Bose's Muslim chums fought for Pakistan in the 1948 War, while there was one who did so on the Indian side. The head of the Indian Nazi Party- whose wife was 'Savitri Devi'- was cozy with Congress leaders after Independence. Apparently, he was a good astrologer.

They are singing songs, mocking pomposity with poetry, flooding the internet with sass and style that is beyond the reach of semi-literate Sanghis.

But, sadly, beyond the reach of Prof. Alok Rai. Still, it is nice to think of him putting on a blonde wig and padding out his derriere, hoping to entice the ghost of Patrick Swayze with his 'sass and style'. Then he will be putting on big bindi and going off to sasural's house for wedded bliss with his dreamboat. Come to think of it, I've seen this movie before. I vividly recall the scene where Rai's sister-in-law makes fun of her rustic ways. Greatly incensed, she gives them a fitting reply- 'I am PhD in the Englis litterchur from Yookay Amrika. Do you know what is  Derrida deconstruction the laltain of the Toba Tek Singh of the Upar di gur gur di annexe di bedhiyana di moong di daal of di Pakistan and Hindustan of di durr phitey mun? No? Then shut up your mouth ya mein tera chamdi nikalunge. Haan ji haan. Chashme buddoor. '

Kumar Sundaram’s mocking “Naxal” poem — “aage Naxal, peechhe Naxal” — could have put an end to the fatuous label “urban Naxal”, provided they were fully literate.

Nonsense. Fear put an end to it. Getting thrown in jail with a bumboo up your butt tends to have that effect.

Sabika Naqvi’s bitter poem, with the refrain “bus mat jalaiye” holds a mocking mirror to P.M. 2.0 — “more dangerous than P.M. 2.5”, one poster jokes, alluding to a relatively benign form of pollution. Another proclaims that his papers got burnt in Gujarat in 2002.

Rai knows what happened to the 'Angare' movement. It opened the door to mass female participation in the Pakistan agitation. Sabika's fate will be similar. She is a 'useful idiot' for Muslim patriarchy. But if she crosses a line no amount of 'sass and style' will save her from her sasural-wale. This is an old story. Rai and I are old enough to have seen its iterations.

Perhaps it’s time for another “free and frank” interview with Akshay Kumar?

Yes. The guy is reclaiming his Indian citizenship. He is still popular with kids. Modi is determined that primary school children should see him as their Nehruvian 'chacha'.  He will succeed where Nehru, because of his elite background, failed. Kids can understand stories about using chalk to make your tennis shoes look new. They like stories about kids sitting in a circle with each taking a turn to say something nice about their neighbor. Kids matter. College students don't. Theirs is a brief Saturnalia. Soon enough, they will have to find jobs and homes and admissions to good Schools for their kids. Let them talk nonsense to each other. As Rai says, their own nonsense is less dismal than that of their soi disant educators. It is this unedifying spectacle- or tamasha- with which the Alok Rai's  of the world- once thought so promising as Rhodes Scholars- signal the final descent into senility and incontinence of such University Departments as they presided over or otherwise disgraced.