Why we must immediately ban D.H. Lawrence

I recall, as a boy of 14, thrilling to the sight of huge muscular coal miners suddenly appearing on the leafy lanes of Cricklewood in support of frail little sari clad Gujerati women who had gone on strike protesting the lack of air conditioning (London is very hot) at the Grunwick photo lab which happened to be owned by an Anglo-Indian with Right Wing views.
Imagine my dismay when the Indians, truly a beastly people as Churchill pointed out, repaid this generous gesture of solidarity on the part of the Miners by proceeding to make a hobby out of sodomizing them and hanging them from trees in various backward parts of Bihar and Uttar Pradesh. When will this epidemic of sexual violence against Miners cease?
The answer, I'm afraid, is not till we ban D.H. Lawrence whose books sexualise and objectify Miners in a totally unacceptable way. His infamous 'Lady Chatterjee's lover' which propagandized for the pleasures of 'a bit of brown' has been turned, by brown people, into an instrument for the oppression of Miners who have already suffered enough at the hands of Mrs. Thatcher.
For which I personally blame David Cameron.
That boy aint right.