| I''ve copied these lyrics from a lovely blog called Mausiki. Click on the link below. |
Shakeel Badayuni - mere hum-nafas
mai.n huu.N dard-e-ishq se jaa.N_valab, mujhe zindagii kii duaa na de
Nafas: Breath
Navaa: Sound, Voice
Ham-nafas, Ham-navaa: Friend
Jaan-Valab: Dead
Duaa: Blessing
mere daaG-e-dil se hai raushnii, usii raushnii se hai zindagii
mujhe Dar hai aye mere chaaraagar, ye charaaG tuu hii bujhaa na de
DaaGh: Blemish
Raushnii: Light, Brightness, Illumination
Chaaraagar: Doctor, physician
mujhe ae chho.D de mere haal par, teraa kyaa bharosaa hai chaaraagar
ye terii nawaazishe muKhtasar, meraa dard aur ba.Daa na de
Nawaazish: Kindness, Favor,
Mukhtasar: Abridged, Abbreviated,
meraa azm itanaa bala.nd hai ke paraaye sholo.n kaa Dar nahii.n
mujhe Khauf aatish-e-gul se hai, ye kahii.n chaman ko jalaa na de
Azm: Conviction, Resolve
Baland: Lofty, Strong
Aatish: Fire, Flame, Ember
wo uThe hai.n leke hom-o-subuu, arey o ‘Shakeel’ kahaa.N hai tuu
teraa jaam lene ko bazm me.n koii aur haath ba.Daa na de
Hom: An oblation with clarified butter, a burnt-offering, a sacrifice;
Subuu: Ewer, jar, pitcher, pot, cup, glass
Bazm: Meeting, Assembly
So slain by Love's pain, do you who, for my longer life yet pray
Ah! Breath of my breath, befriend to but betray?!
My heart's wound, my Life, my Light's flint-struck spark
Bind not, nor blow out, my sole candle 'gainst the dark!
Breath Control is Divine, Balsamic, broken breath, Death Orgasmic
How trust to your care- ragged breath'd, threadbare?
Shakeel's steel, forged in a sighs' fires, fears no inferno of the forger Iyer's
For glows in the Garden, red rose arson, Fear's a poet, Ire a Parson
Thee, we study, understudy & e'en, in vain, understand
Thy wine of immortality yet let pass hand to hand
Thy wine of immortality yet let pass hand to hand
The English translation is hilariously wrong!!
ReplyDeleteI believe it is de rigueur to translate Urdu ghazals as senselessly as possible.
DeleteAny translation from Urdu to English will seem hilarious to one who knows Urdu because English language lacks the nuanced flourish that Urdu has by which a mere word can translate into an expression or emotion. And since Urdu poetry is mostly about love it just cannot be translated into English. Just the clinical meaning of the words can be made in English.
ReplyDeleteThis translation is more confusing than the poetry itself! I suggest that you research the meaning of each and every word first. When you have this information, then and only then can you start to decipher the meaning of this poetry. The challenge is to try to get into the poets mind when he was writing. Although even literal meanings alone might not be sufficient to do this, they serve as a good starting point. Understanding urdu poetry is difficult, even for seasoned urdu aficionado's. That is the challenge, fascination and intrigue of urdu poetry.
ReplyDeleteShakeel wrote simply though he was well educated in Western and Eastern literature. He knew his Bedil and his TS Eliot but his songs were on the lips of the rickshaw-wallah as well as the Professor. This does not mean his poems lack allusiveness or suggestiveness. But it does mean that when translating, or transcreating, him, we need to add something which suggests that the fellow was not a moron who thought needed to remind himself to be present when the wine was being poured, lest some other dude ended up drinking his share.
ReplyDeleteFollowing my comments of 30 April 2024 at 10:46, it being easy to criticise, I offer here my own translation. Let it also be said that the art of useful translation of poetry of any genre is influenced greatly by the translators own personal perspective based upon life experiences. This alone makes any translation less significant including my own.
ReplyDelete##
mere ham-nafas mere ham-navā mujhe dost ban ke daġhā na de
My companion, my confidante, behave not as a friend that betrays
maiñ huuñ dard-e-ishq se jāñ-ba-lab mujhe zindagī kī duā na de
In the last throes of this lovelorn sickness offer me no more prayers
mere dāġh-e-dil se hai raushnī isī raushnī se hai zindagī
In my sorrow laden heart is the light and in the light is my life
mujhe Dar hai ai mire chāra-gar ye charāġh tū hī bujhā na de
I fear only O my healer that it not be you who extingiushes that light
mujhe chhoḌ de mire haal par tirā kyā bharosa hai chāra-gar
Leave me now to my fate what trust do I have left in your remedies
ye tirī navāzish-e-muḳhtasar mirā dard aur baḌhā na de
Spare me your fleeting niceties that only increase my hurt
merā azm itnā buland hai ki parā.e sho.aloñ kā Dar nahīñ
My resolution flies so high that I fear not the fire of strangers
mujhe ḳhauf ātish-e-gul se hai ye kahīñ chaman ko jalā na de
I dread only that those sparks do not reduce this haven to ash
vo uThe haiñ le ke ḳhum-o-subū are o 'shakīl' kahāñ hai tū
She has arisen with the elixir in hand where are you O 'Shakeel'
tirā jaam lene ko bazm meñ koī aur haath baḌhā na de
Let not another hand in this banquet take the elixir destined for you!
What does 'nawazishey mukhtasar' mean? Nice boys might say it means a formulaic type of patronage or attention. Poets who know a bit of Arabic may know it means the attentions of a prostitute, or rent-boy, who specializes in curing 'love sickness'.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, a spiritual preceptor too may be the 'healer'. The cleverness here is to combine the whore and the priest. That's what makes this a good poem.
Genuine poets don't just whine endlessly. They say naughty, daring, but also spiritually enlightening things. That is the ghazal tradition.
I do not regard Urdu poetry as consistent whining for if that were the case, I would have no interest in it. The simple question here is about the confusion created by the posted translation which is the basis of my response.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, if we were to consider the plethora of personal experience, culture and language when making such translations, it would skew the result exponentially simply because it would introduce variables that might not have been present in the mind of the poet.
That said, I read this poem portraying the scenario of a jilted lover. There is a clear sequence of events that tell of a love spurned and the hurt arising from it exacerbated by teasing, possibly even mocking tones from the jilter. This is the basis of my translation, that adopts the literal meanings of the words with the theme presented by the poet.
My translation is by no means the exact expression of the Urdu which is of course impossible given the nuances in the Urdu language that cannot be reciprocated in English. However, in my view, the general explanation stands based on the sequence of events depicted.
You think there is a 'jilted lover'. But there is no mention of sitam zareefi. Moreover, hamnafas &c suggests Quranic 'Qareen'. Why? Two reasons
ReplyDelete1) Shakeel had read the mukhtasar of Ibn Sina etc. He knew that love sickness is of two types. One which is caused by abandonment of zikr in which case the Qareen is like Satan taking over. The other is where self-hood or ego is itself abandoned.
2) Shakeel, like other lads at Aligarh, was influenced by Eliot & co. So there is the theme of the double but within a traditional Monist framework. In the end, the poet is 'ghayab' like the pearl dissolved in the wine of Love without alterity.
As I mentioned there is also a somewhat naughty allusion but such can be found even in Bedil. The conventional explanation is that such facetiae hold at bay 'the eye of perfection'!
Shakeel belonged to a different age. Under the Brits, knowledge of classical languages was encouraged and rewarded. This meant that mushaira audiences in Colleges were more literate. However, Shakeel's musicality can't be learned from books.